Friday Night Lights

Written for, and originally published on, http://www.ukamericansportsfans.com/

Do not adjust your television sets. That’s really ice hockey on your screen. No, really! It’s a travesty that it took this long, but finally, on Friday 9th December, it was time for the first televised game of the season, as league leaders the Belfast Giants travelled to the Motorpoint Arena in Sheffield to take on arguably their main rivals for the title, the Steelers.

The stage was set: a group of Vipers fans gathered in Newcastle’s best new sports bar, Shark Club (it’s Canadian don’t you know), in the VIP area no less (as is befitting of our stature). The screen was large. The beer was cold. The build-up was exciting, although the lovely Anna Woolhouse and her guests were rather drowned out by the banging dance tunes being played in the bar which was a bit of a shame, but at least we managed to pick up most of what Simmsey was saying, as thankfully his voice really seems to carry (damning him with faint praise there)!

The game started out at a high pace, it was end to end stuff right from the off, all the players putting on a good show for the Sky cameras and neither team giving much away in the opening minutes. It was always going to be a close encounter: the timing of the broadcast was fortuitous as the Steelers looked to close the gap on the top-placed team, and with three games in three days they had a great opportunity to do so. But Belfast drew first blood, scoring on the breakaway just over halfway through the first period, Jon Pelle pouncing on a pass from Craig Peacock and burying it in the back of John DeCaro’s net to put the Giants in the driving seat. The Giants were always dangerous on the counter-attack, the blistering pace of Brock McBride in particular a real weapon and a sight to behold, and it seemed for a while as though they would take control, but the game became more physical and the tide turned.

This is what ice hockey on a big screen on a stripey wall looks like!! Them blurs, thems is hockey players! Yet another piece of fabulous photography brought to you by me.

In the second period things evened out again, the one goal lead lending itself to a pulsating yet cagey game. But tempers started to fray and the Giants started to pick up penalties, the Steelers with powerplay after powerplay through the second and third periods, piling the pressure on the Giants’ net. It seemed during the third period that the Giants actually wanted to be short-handed as every time a man returned from the box, another would make the effort to be sent there. Revolving door for Belfast please!

But the Northern Irish side’s penalty kill, along with an imperious display of goaltending by Stephen Murphy, thwarted wave after wave of pressure from the home side and frustrated Steelers fans, the tempo ramping up throughout the third period to a nail-biting crescendo. It looked to be all over as the Steelers just couldn’t find a way to penetrate Murphy’s defences. Back in the pub, conversation broke out. People drifted to the bar. Tabs were settled. The seconds ticked down on the clock…

And then came the game-changer. With 0.42 seconds remaining, Ashley Tait scored what looked through cider-warped eyes to be a good, and priceless, goal, to level the score for the Steelers and take the game to over-time. A shock to the system for the Giants, and the sucker punch was the gift that kept on taking, robbing them of the extra point after less than a minute of overtime, Jeff Legue picking up the puck on the Giants’ blueline and slotting it coolly past Stephen Murphy to end the game.

Steelers celebrated. Giants raged. Coaches vented at officials. Players may or may not have done things they probably shouldn’t have done. Both goals were shrouded in controversy, the first seemingly coming off the back of a missed hand pass, and the second, debated endlessly on the social networks ever since, could well have been offside. In the stop-frame replays Legue looks onside. But should he have had the chance to score that goal at all? It seems not. Passions were running high as Belfast fans and players alike wondered if this could be a turning point. Could that one point be the difference between them winning and losing the title? It would be a brave man who would make such an assertion at this stage in the season. But in the heat of the moment, and given the strength of the Steelers of late, these are the questions being asked.

In any case, for a one goal game it was a great spectacle, and the two teams should be proud of themselves for showcasing British hockey in such a close-fought and exciting encounter. The controversy rumbled on following the game, the players making their feelings known, as has become customary. It’s good for us neutrals, that’s for certain. Speaking of neutral…

Two tickets to the gunfight?

Okay, let’s be up front about this. It was the fight that those of us who are that way inclined would have wanted to see, the two Canadian tough guys named after guns taking it to one another on the ice. But hockey isn’t that simple and for one reason or another – it could quite simply be that the two of them are friends. Or maybe they just didn’t feel like it – they appeared disinterested in sparring, instead showing us what else they were hired for; both putting in good shifts for their teams, King in particular having a strong night up front. Speaking of which…

Colt King: Intelligent Enforcement

‘No Keefe-watch this week?!’ I hear you cry! Yes I may be fickle. But King had a more note-worthy week than Keefe, plus the title of this section sounds like an American cop show. Win win. Don’t worry, I’ll return with a further instalment of Keefe-watch in weeks to come.

Colt King: So hard, they named an alcoholic beverage after him

In a three game weekend for the Sheffield Steelers Colt King proved beyond a shadow of a doubt why Ryan Finnerty put his faith in him this season. For a start, he may be a tough guy, but he’s no goon. He stands up for his team-mates, sure, but he picks his battles carefully; this isn’t fighting for fighting’s sake. He seems to thrive on the implied ass-kicking that he will mete out to anyone who messes with him or his team; having viewed the punishment he doled out to Lepine early on in the season even the toughest in the league will be cautious around him. But he means business when he’s on the ice and is one hell of a presence on his forward line, making a nuisance of himself constantly, distributing the puck with clinical precision and using his physicality in a clever way, shielding the netminder and blocking defencemen to allow his linemates to put in the shots. He’s no goal-poacher and he’s not the fastest guy on the ice but he’s undeniably one of the most valuable forwards in the league when he plays the way he did on Friday against Belfast.

And when he does choose to fight, man does his opponent know about it. In a clear response to Kyle Bruce’s hit on him in Glasgow three weeks previous, King invited Bruce to drop the gloves in Sheffield on Sunday night, and on his home ice proved why he is a force to be reckoned with, winning the tilt in convincing style and causing damage to Bruce in the process (here’s hoping it’s nothing serious). And there’s no show-boating with him either, in contrast to other notable tough guys in this and other leagues. He skates, head down, to the penalty box. Mission accomplished. And continues on his way, five minutes later. Impressed? You will be. More importantly, does he have his own song yet? And if not, why not?

Around the League

In the Sunday basement battle, Dundee Stars picked up two desperately needed points at the expense of visitors Fife Flyers in the first league meeting between the teams, scoring seven goals and gaining some long overdue confidence as well as a first win for new coach Brent Hughes.

The other two Sunday games were once again thrillers (what is it about Sundays?), Braehead Clan coming away with a point and almost upsetting the Steelers on home ice despite being short-benched, the hockey player who most sounds like a German dessert, Steelers’ new boy Francis Trudel, scoring the winning goal in overtime to top off an impressive start to his Elite League career. But the prize for unexpectedly amazing match of the weekend has to go to the tie between Edinburgh Capitals and Hull Stingrays, which was bursting at the seams with 12 goals in regulation time, the teams trading scoring throughout the game eventually tying it 6-6. Amazingly neither team were able to score in overtime, so to a nerve-wracking penalty shoot-out in which the Capitals were finally victorious. Yet again the Elite League pulls cracking entertainment out of the bag.

And so it’s the start of the week once again and I’m left to reflect on the weekend’s action on and off the ice. If I were any sort of aspiring professional I should be attempting to write up these reports immediately following a match. But then I wouldn’t have the full picture. Plus I’m normally drunk and/or hung over at the time. Plus there’s nothing like a couple of days following twitter feeds to add fuel to the already brightly burning fire of inspiration. That’s my excuse. And I’m sticking to it. But there are plenty more talking points to chew over so I’ll see you again soon, folks. TTFN.

Eat, Sleep, Dream, Repeat

Writing regularly about something you love comes relatively easy when you’re exposed to that thing on a weekly basis. But without a team to call my own this season, inspiration was, until recently, rather harder to come by. I still begin each new week wondering what I can possibly find to talk about that would be of interest to anybody. When you’re writing about your own team it’s easy. You’ve got a ready made group of people on exactly the same wavelength as you who will happily read the rubbish that you write. But what’s actually the point of me now? All this blog consists of, really, is a vague re-telling of the week’s events in hockeyland. With extra beards.

Why then do I persist? And how am I finding so much to write about now? I come to my computer this morning full of the events of the weekend, ready to spill my guts onto the screen. Because in reality, I don’t have anyone to talk to about it. When you’re gathered in the stands of your home ice rink, or in the bar after the game, it’s all too easy to chew over the happenings in the league. Maybe that’s why I’ve come to rely on this blog. It’s the only place I can vent my excitement about hockey that will listen. It doesn’t have a choice, frankly. I could be talking to myself but I’ll pretend that’s not the case and go merrily about my business.

The best way to describe the way this season feels for me is to take you back to that time when you were 16 and the party of the year was happening but you couldn’t go because your parents were forcing you to attend your Great Aunt Mabel’s 80th birthday tea instead. It happened to all of us, at one point or another. That aching, desperate, stroppy teenage feeling that because YOU’RE not there, it simply must be the most AMAZING party EVER and you’re the only one in the whole WORLD missing out. That. Except twice a week, every week. Everybody’s talking. But I’m not involved in any of the conversations.

And I’ve started yearning again. I yearn a lot these days. It gets quite tiring. I find myself yearning for things I never would have been interested in when I had a team of my own. Why do I want to go to watch the Steelers’ trip to Denmark for the Continental Cup? (Well, probably because of the beer). Why do I feel the urge to go to Braehead to see the results of the Movember competition? (Well, probably because I like facial hair). In all seriousness though, being team-less but still loving the Elite League, I feel as though there’s a little bit of me in all the teams. So I’m basically missing out on 10 team’s worth of fun. And it’s simply not acceptable.

And what fun I missed out on this weekend. This weekend proved what an exciting and entertaining league the Elite League can be. It was a barnstormer. Let’s have a look at what happened.

Coventry Blaze

It’s been a rollercoaster in Coventry these past seven days. Blaze fans were left reeling earlier in the week after the sudden and unexpected loss of Luke Fulghum. Rumours abounded, all seemed unfounded, Sheffield had him surrounded, and snapped him up less than 24 hours after his contract with the Blaze was terminated, Ryan Finnerty like a kid at Christmas with his new signing (also did you like my poetry there? I might try and throw down a few more rhymes in today’s blog). Unrest in the Blaze camp perhaps? You wouldn’t have known it on Saturday night as they soundly beat Dundee at the Skydome; seemingly galvanised they came out as a unit, putting in a great team performance and scoring seven along the way including a brace for rapidly improving Brit Robert Farmer.

Things were not so easy the following night as they travelled to Edinburgh and were given a tough test by Richard Hartmann’s men, who are giving a really good account of themselves this season and are surprising many with their tenacity and goal-scoring abilities. The game at Murrayfield was tied 2-2 at full time, Coventry winning the shoot-out to take the extra point and make it a four-point weekend. Sadly things seem tougher off-ice for the Blaze; they launched a desperate bums-on-seats appeal on Monday morning; echoes of the Vipers’ troubles of last season a grim reminder of the realities in this sport, but here’s hoping the fans answer the call and avert any possible financial crisis. It’s time yet again for everyone involved in the league to pull together.

Dundee Stars had a shocker of a weekend, losing three games in as many days, the third to Nottingham Panthers in a close-run encounter where the Stars did well to score four but were edged out by the home side in their only game of the weekend, which incidentally was watched by the UK’s newest hockey fan, Nottingham-based England cricketer Stuart Broad. Good for publicity? I’ll say. Do I hear 219,000 odd Twitter followers? I do believe I do.

In the remaining two Saturday games, Braehead beat Edinburgh and kept a clean sheet in the process, and Sheffield fought their way past a seemingly rejuvenated Cardiff side to win 4-2 despite being outshot by the visitors 50-30, an impressive performance from netminder John DeCaro the difference between the two sides in the end.

Belfast Giants

In a classic case of fortuitous timing Belfast bounced back from the loss of Benoit Doucet with the return of super-speedy forward Brock McBride who had been out of action for some time with a lower body injury. He marked his return with two goals and in a chippy contest at the Odyssey on Saturday Belfast topped Hull 5 to 1. The Giants followed this up with a trip to the Big Blue Tent on Sunday and in yet another extremely chippy game, they took the points once again despite a number of notable incidents in which they made few friends among the Cardiff Devils fans, playing their pantomime villain roles with aplomb, and causing an outbreak of major internet drama after the game as accusations flew about cheap shots, class, and who really is the boss of British Hockey.

Keefe-watch (Because he’s worth it).

Speaking of chippy, and of bosses, the Boss of Belfast made his mark on the Elite League penalty minute standings on Saturday fighting veteran enforcer Derek Campbell not once but twice, felling him with a single punch on both occasions and picking up 22 of the little buggers along the way (penalty minutes that is. Not punches). Presumably Campbell didn’t hear what Mr Keefe said the first time, so he went back for seconds. Unwise, even for him. AK47 faced a sterner test on Sunday when he finally squared up against Brad Voth, who he’s been gunning for for some time. He didn’t fare well, the height difference causing him a few issues, and the elder statesman took the win. Keefe wanted a re-match but it was not to be. One for the future, perhaps. Still, a strong weekend from the Giants tough guy, who seems to have become the Devils’ love-to-hate player du jour. To the neutral however he’s a great character to have in the league and I for one am loving his antics. More please!

The drama was not limited to Cardiff on Sunday, as all five games were thrillers, Fife Flyers nearly throwing away a three-goal lead against the Braehead Clan but just hanging on for a precious two points, and Hull holding Sheffield to a 2-2 scoreline on their home ice, before Mike Ramsay delivered the killer blow in overtime to take the extra point back to Sheffield. Next week’s Elite League highlights show will be truly unmissable.

Twitter Latest

Adam Keefe called all Cardiff Devils fans mutants. The guy really does have balls. I’ve seen the Welsh angry and I wouldn’t mess. Jon Pelle received a death threat (see my point?). World War III broke out between Devils and Giants fans. Things were taken too seriously. The Steelers marvelled at their own moustaches in between making even less sense than last week. Many hockey players Tweeted about the progress of their various journeys. And that was about it, really. More next week!

So anyway, back to me. The title of today’s post says it all. I really have been living and breathing hockey these last few weeks; at least, as much as anyone without a team can. To the point where I had a dream about going grocery shopping with members of the Giants and Steelers teams. I remember discussing grapes with Nick Kuiper. I wish I was making this up. I’m honestly not. I’m so ensconced in all things hockey that I go funny at the merest mention of ice. There was an ice rink in an episode of Dexter the other night and I came over all excited. You should have seen me watching Frozen Planet. A mess, I was. This Friday sees the season’s first live televised Elite League match on Sky Sports. I imagine someone will need to be on hand with a mop in Shark Club, Newcastle, where we plan to watch it. It could be messy.

Anyway! Enough of that nonsense. I will to return to you shortly to write a bit about the ups and downs of my NHL team, the Calgary Flames. Thankfully, there have been some ups this week. Ups are nice. I suppose that’s the one good thing about not having the Vipers anymore. I don’t have to worry about winning. Or a lack thereof. I can watch in glorious technicolored neutrality, and observe the pain and the glory of the other ten teams with cool, calculating ambivalence, and not really mind who wins the league. Well, almost. Anyone but Panthers, eh.

The Tweet Generation

The Week in Review

It’s me again! And I’d like to think that given the number of times I've flapped my lips on this here blog, you, my lovely readers, must have gotten to know to know me. I’m a girl of simple pleasures, let’s face it. I love fights, beards, and players named after weaponry. And man, can I talk. I’ve not even seen any hockey this week and I’ve still got plenty to tell you. So let’s settle down and have a chinwag, shall we.

Without a live match for my poor, hockey-starved mind to devour, my thoughts turned to matters off-ice this week. And I’ll get to those in good time. But let’s start with some of the talking points from this week’s Elite League action. There was a thriller at the Odyssey as Braehead travelled to take on Belfast, and in an overly physical game there was yet more frustration for fight fans, as in the first meeting between Sam Zajac and Benoit Doucet since ‘that’ check which left Zajac sidelined with concussion, the gloves were dropped but the fight was unable to take place due to some over-enthusiastic officiating. A poor decision in my opinion and potentially a dangerous one: the guys clearly needed to air their grievances but were unable to do so; frustrations could have easily boiled over leading to more unsavoury outcomes being played out. In short, let them go*. If this wasn’t enough Adam Keefe tried to start a fight with half the Braehead team but no-one was game. ‘A’ for effort, lad. Belfast took the game by the horns with just three minutes to spare and continue to look dominant.

Coventry had a hairy bus ride home from Dundee after shutting out the home side and taking the two points back to the West Midlands. Thankfully they made it home safely despite the bus nearly being blown over. In other, more dramatic, and less hairy news, there were some sad losses in the world of British ice hockey as Matthew Myers (Nottingham Panthers) severed his enviable tresses and Chris Zarb (Dundee Stars) shaved off his frankly incredible beard. I’m still reeling from the shock of those unwelcome discoveries. Absent from the weekend’s action were the Sheffield Steelers who were all busy joining Twitter. Oh, and playing the occasional game of hockey in Denmark during their spare moments. They didn’t fare well in the Intercontinental Cup, despite a promising start, and were subject to some seemingly over-sensitive refereeing. Apparently the Europeans don’t do physical ice hockey. Whereas we like a good bashing here in the UK. On a positive note, their entire squad are now on Twitter, so the trip to Denmark wasn’t a total waste of time.

On Sunday, only one ice hockey team turned up in the first period for the dead rubber Challenge Cup tie at Skydome Arena, and as the only team there, the Blaze found it relatively easy to take a 5-0 lead. In the second period only one ice hockey team turned up too – this time however it was Nottingham Panthers, who proceeded to score 5 goals of their own to level the scores. I’m led to believe that both teams were present in the final period. The score was nonetheless tied.

The Tweet Generation

So that’s the hockey dealt with. Now onto my ponderings from the week. I hardly need to point out that as a fan of ice hockey, if you have any interest in the deep and meaningful thoughts that travel through the grey matter of the players you watch and admire, accessing said thoughts is not as difficult (or stalkerish), as it may once have been. No longer do you need to creep around behind them on the street trying to listen in to their private telephone conversations (I’ve not done that, by the way). Never again do you need to pen a desperate fan letter, asking them what their favourite colour is, or if they could be any superhero who would they be (I haven’t done that either. That I can recall). Instead, using the various social media that’s available, Robert is in fact your mother’s brother: instant access to a wealth of richness and diversity, courtesy of the collective brains of your favourite team(s).

By its very nature Twitter is a voyeuristic medium. It allows you to read for yourself whatever little nuggets of wisdom anyone you happen to be intrigued by is sharing with the world at any given moment. For some this amounts to reams of material daily, for others just the choicest morsels will be drip-fed to the starving masses, to satisfy the aching chasm deep inside that could only possibly be filled by the knowledge that their favourite Canadian defenceman is going to the bowling alley for the afternoon. It’s different to Facebook. Facebook is for friends, and family. Twitter is the social network of strangers. You are safe, hidden behind your maximum 15-character username, to follow the people whom you choose to follow without fear of retribution. You never have to talk back. You can read a full conversation between team mates about where to meet for coffee without having to get involved. But – you know they’re meeting for coffee. And that’s something you didn’t know before. Stalkers 1, Privacy 0!

Of course it’s hardly a place to reveal your innermost secrets if you don’t want anyone else to know about them, but there’s just something about Twitter. That sense that maybe, probably, no-one’s really listening (reading) tempts you into giving up just a little more information than you would if you were speaking to a group of people you barely knew in person. It’s the genuine candour adopted by sportsmen, celebrities and the like that makes following them on Twitter so appealing. That sense that you’re catching a glimpse into their everyday lives. Twitter obviously feeds one’s propensity to stalkerishness; but at least I’m not afraid to admit it!

Anyway I promised myself this wouldn’t descend (ascend?!) into a ponderous philosophical commentary on the vicarious nature of social media, so let’s cut to the chase. Ice hockey players: they really do love Twitter, don’t they? And while I concede that a lot of what they dribble on about is no more interesting than any of the rest of the inanity spouted by your average Twitter user, they do make for an entertaining follow. To support this week’s column and to find out just how many of them frequent the site, I set about compiling a Twitter list of EIHL players (available now for any user to follow – @ktdude/eihl-ice-hockey-players). I basically adopted the role of electronic shepherd, herding the lovely big lugs together in one easy to manage pen – and I am surprised to tell you that it contains just shy of 100 of the hairy creatures already. Basically half of the possible number of players contained in the league right now. Surprised? I was.

The variety of fripperies they supply is astounding; I have in recent weeks given Sam Zajac directions, asked Danny Meyers a question about his sideburns (he grows them because otherwise he’d look really young), seen pictures of the Belfast Giants’ Halloween party, viewed a wide selection of Movember moustaches, and discovered that Jeff Pierce really loves his own hair. They aren’t shy about voicing their opinions on games, either. It’s a whole added dimension to the dynamics that already exist between players, teams, coaches, managers, referees, fans, commentators and everyone else involved in our beautiful game. The NHL have banned the use of Twitter on game days. I don’t think the Elite League would ever have the faintest notion of doing similar and I for one hope it stays that way.

And viewing them all together in one list is priceless. It’s taking on a life of its own. Sheffield Steelers used their trip to Denmark as an opportunity to ensure that every single squad member was signed up and the resultant (presumably drunken – I’m allowed to say that, right?) nonsense has been quite amusing if not somewhat baffling to follow. It’s interesting what they choose to say, and not to say. For the most part they seem content to share a great deal – to the extent of possibly having boundary issues. Of course the majority of it is ‘in’ jokes and banter between teammates, but there is some genuinely fun content if you can get through this. My top 3 suggestions of players to follow:

1) Adam Keefe – self-appointed spokesperson for the Belfast Giants this season, Keefe has not wasted any time in throwing himself into life in Northern Ireland, and the Elite League in general. He Tweets regularly, but there’s plenty of substance in there, and he’s not afraid to bite back if someone tries to wind him up. He also made me come over all unnecessary following recent comments about his moustache. Top bloke.

2) Danny Meyers – speaking of top blokes, the Nottingham Panthers captain has surely got to be up there with the best of them. One of my first hockey player follows, Danny is just an all round good egg and is the perfect spokesmodel for Great British hockey. He loves his wife and kids, he enjoys a bit of banter with Simmsey, and he is happy to answer questions once in a while, even the more bizarre ones about sideburns!

3) Ryan Finnerty – Finner16 is a sound dude with a wry sense of humour and although he displays the restraint that a good leader should, he’s not afraid to engage in the banter and is clearly well-liked throughout the game and not just by his own team, or fans.

So to conclude: if you actually care about what goes on between the ears of your favourite hockey players, follow my list. If you don’t really care, follow it anyway, purely for the amusement factor. If you’re not even on Twitter, check it out. It’s ridiculously addictive. And a few weeks down the line, you’ll wonder how you lived without knowing about Jade Galbraith’s trip to the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet.

*STOP PRESS: The fallout from the Zajac/Doucet non-fight is more serious than first thought. Doucet is out for the season, due to a freak accident which occurred when he was wrestled to the ice by the linesmen who landed on him causing his knee to twist the wrong way. A sickening injury, which is a massive blow to the Giants and more so to the player himself. A great shame. My initial thoughts on the way the matter was handled were followed by a lengthy debate and some further hockey schooling and as a result I’m going to hop back up onto the fence on the matter, claiming ‘noobishness’ as my excuse for not being more outspoken. That is all.

What Katy Did Next...

Originally published on http://www.ukamericansportsfans.com/

As a wise man once said (was it Michael Fish?), it never rains, but it pours. Words. From my brain. Yes, after what could be called a bit of a dry patch, my engine has been fuelled with sub-standard hockey and my thirst to spill forth on further hockey-related shenanigans can barely be contained. As such, I decided to take in a live hockey match from the comfort of my very own living room this weekend. Without a team of my own this season what is the point of me if it’s not to stick my nose into other people’s teams’ business and give my tuppence worth, as self-appointed Elite League blogger without portfolio, so to speak. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me! Ha!

For my viewing pleasure this Sunday then, a clash between Coventry Blaze and Cardiff Devils. The weekend had been for me, rather a pleasant one. I had been wallowing in hockey like a happy little piglet in puddles of lovely lovely muck. I thrashed about in it and splashed my piggy toes until I could splash no more, maximising use of the most excellent NHL Gamecenter to watch my Calgary Flames beat the Chicago Blackhawks convincingly, and then watching Edmonton’s incredible youngsters do the same, even more convincingly. Anyone would think I had something against Chicago (I really don’t).

I followed the updates from around the Elite League on Saturday night with interest. Most interesting of all a somewhat topsy-turvy sounding game in Glasgow, where Sheffield Steelers travelled to take on Braehead Clan, the resultant controversy-fest leaving many Clan fans with a bad taste in their mouth as they suffered a number of seemingly contentious decisions against their side, although the main victim on the face of it (no pun intended. Well, maybe a bit) was Steelers alpha male Colt King, who took a questionable hit to the head from Kyle Bruce and was left bleeding and it could be said, less than impressed. The fallout from that one will be one for the violence voyeurs among us (okay, I mean me) and I fear for Bruce who, although tough, has potentially antagonised one of worthiest adversaries in all of Britain-dom in King, who let’s face it, is the only person I’ve seen who’s managed to take out the Panthers’ imperious hard-man Guillaume Lepine. And by take out I mean, completely demolish a man who was unbeaten in his previous 18 fights in this league. Yup. It’s akin to prodding a large bear, repeatedly, with a pointed stick. Inadvisable, foolish, and ultimately likely to land you in hospital.

I’ve developed quite a fascination with the tough guys in the league this season and couldn’t help but notice (as I’m sure everyone else already had) that arguably the two top dogs have cunning gun references in their name/number combinations, Colt King sporting number 45 (self-explanatory) and Adam Keefe’s number 47 lending itself to the clever nickname AK47. It remains to be seen if these two will have a shot at each other (oh dear, somebody lock me up) but doubtless the resultant gunfight will be one to fetch the popcorn for.

Anyway, I digress! (It’s my raison d’etre). The Elite League game may not have promised quite as much in terms of quality as my NHL televisual encounters but it was an interesting prospect for me. It featured a team fresh in my mind from my weekend in Belfast, and one who I had yet to see in action this season in the Blaze. These are likely to be the main two sides who will be contending fourth place in the league, assuming none of the top three suffer a spectacular implosion (stranger things have happened), and none of the Scottish sides has a barn-storming run (again, not outside the realms of possibility – Braehead have proved a force to be reckoned with at times this season, and even Edinburgh have pulled their socks up in no uncertain terms).

Coventry v Cardiff was a home and away double header, with the first game at the big Blue Tent the previous night going the Devils’ way in fairly convincing fashion, hard fought as it was, with a couple of violent incidents and a general niggly feeling between the two teams proliferating. Would the atmosphere have festered overnight or would it be a brand new day between the Welsh side and their closest rivals in the league – in more ways than one.

And so it would seem in my roundabout way of introducing this week’s match report, I’ve come a digression too far, and I need to break for lunch. Or some other relevant drink and/or meal. And I’m sure you do too. We’ve got a whole match report ahead of us, don’t forget. Join me in part 2 of this week’s column to hear my take on the action.

So there I was on my sofa, laptop at the ready, dressing gown and comfy pants donned (no word of a lie), tuned into Blaze TV for my first experience of live Elite League hockey, via the interweb (If you’re already confused, please refer to part 1 of this week’s column to discover how we got here!). Aside from the commentary, which was a shade Brummier than that on NHL Gamecenter, you could barely tell the difference. OK, I’m being generous – the picture quality wasn’t brilliant. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to spot the players’ numbers let alone their faces, but the banter was jolly, as the commentators encouraged listeners to participate in Farmer bingo – basically a guessing game as to which three opposing players would punch or otherwise lay out Blaze’s Robert Farmer first. Great fun. Sadly the answer was no-one but still.

As for my allegiances, I felt pretty neutral, a state that’s both unfamiliar and disconcerting for me. Perhaps I was slightly favouring the Devils purely from a familiarity point of view, but from a journalistic perspective, I would attempt to perch firmly on the fence.

The game started evenly and I put my feet up and made myself comfortable. I could get used to this. Just under five minutes in the deadlock was broken, Max Birbraer taking a fantastic pass from Mark Richardson on the Blaze blue line to score a calmly taken goal. It was just the kick start the game needed and from there it livened right up, and even got a bit feisty, the Blaze laying on some decent hits, Brian Jurynec and Mike McLean in particularly gung-ho form. However they were erratic and gave up a couple of penalties, giving the Devils further powerplay opportunities, and even at full strength Blaze seemed somewhat devoid of ideas. Finally 11 minutes in it was their turn on the powerplay, forwards Shea Guthrie and Matic Kralj combining well to put sustained pressure on the Devils goal and force a good save from Lyle. This was swiftly followed by a period of 5 on 3 for Blaze but still they couldn’t find the back of the net, the Devils penalty kill unit strong once again despite their lack of import Defencemen (having lost Chris Frank to a suspension) and some nice Blaze build-up play was all well and good but lacked end product.

The game ebbed and flowed, the Devils once again finding themselves with the man advantage and a nicely worked chance for Jeff Pierce skimming just wide of the mark, before a second goal came courtesy of the stick of Scott Matzka. The Devils looked in control, assured, and much more like the team they were last season, perfectly capable of taking on and beating the big boys. Blaze had their moments but were unable to achieve any consistency; their forward lines look quick and their defencemen feisty but their shooting was weak and more significantly, rare.

The Welsh side’s dominance continued early in the second period, their systems coming together beautifully, some lovely passing resulting in a goal for Phil Hill in the third minute. Then I had a nice chat with my parents on the phone about their holiday in South Africa from which they had just returned… Ah, the perils of watching hockey at home! (The weather was disappointing but they had a lot of nice wine). Meanwhile back at the ranch (or even the SkyDome) Blaze were attempting to get back into the game, Greg Owen forcing another great save from Lyle. But there seemed to be no stemming the Devils’ flow, the 4thgoal an outstanding effort from Stu Macrae, carving through the Blaze defence; it was all looking too easy.

Paul Thompson called a time out and presumably shared a selection of choice vocabulary with his flailing side, and it clearly did the trick as a period of desperate attacking was to follow from the frustrated home side, who were feeling the pressure from the stands. Poor old Bradley took a bit of pasting, taking several hits in quick succession from Luke Fulghum and Mike McLean, a repeat effort from McLean moments later almost knocking the giant from his feet. He took it all in his stride as he so often does these days, and I believe the travelling Cardiff fans removed a large amount of footwear in tribute.

The tide had turned, and Blaze finally got off the mark via an Owen Fussey individual effort, taking a pass from Shea Guthrie and going one-on-one with Stevie Lyle, almost leaving it too late, Blaze hearts in mouths no doubt before he buried it. The home side’s tally was doubled just seconds later through Dustin Wood, and they turned the tables on the Devils, piling on wave after wave of pressure. The visiting side started to look nervous, a 180° flip from their earlier impressive display. The tempo of the game was turned up to 11, frenetic attacking and a Blaze powerplay followed by a gilt-edged opportunity to bring the game within one goal when Scott Matzka gave up a careless penalty and they went 5 on 3.

I opened an organic strawberry beer. Perks of the job, you know. They finally scored the pressure goal from a Guthrie long shot, the second period proving to be almost a mirror image of the first. Then Brian Jurynec punched Matzka in the back of the head and took a penalty. Cardiff retaliated with some accidental high sticks in McLean’s face followed by Jurynec possibly taking an elbow right at the end of the period – Blaze faces seemed to suffer for their art that night.

I can’t let this report go by without a comment on the period break entertainment – Blaze had their announcer singing live with a boy band! I was stunned. I thought perhaps they might be famous, because I don’t know much about boy bands. Testament to their ability, clearly! The Devils fans seemed to be enjoying themselves with one bloke getting up to strut his funky stuff, presumably unaware there was a camera pointing right at him. Great stuff. I hoped the cameraman would take it upon himself to fiddle with his brightness settings as the glare from the ice was hurting my brain a bit and I was almost forced to watch through sunglasses. Luckily, he did.

The 3rd period began amid a flurry of Tivo’ing (The Cube is far too good to be missed, you know!) and a second round of alcoholic beverages. The commentary team engaged in a thought-provoking discussion about Thommo possibly drugging Blaze players (scandal), the relative merits, or lack thereof, of Hitler moustaches, and what to do when a person cannot grow a moustache at all during Movember (Novembeards: note, I heartily approve). Despite the game hanging on the slimmest of margins, it was a quiet start to the third period. Cardiff went on the powerplay again but Blaze managed a better penalty kill to prevent their rivals scoring. There was a brilliant attempt on goal by Fulghum from Guthrie. Then a fabulous 5th for Devils, Voth taking a cool tap-in from Scott Dobben, covering well in defence.

Then it went a bit flat, and I was presented with my dinner. It was fajitas. They were a bit messy so couldn’t type as much. Er, sorry about that. Then it was nearly the end of the game and Blaze fans held their breath as Greg Owen scored a 4th for them with a minute to go, after they pulled their netminder. In return, Max Birbraer missed an empty net, a shocking yet hilarious miss which will no doubt have haunted him for at least 20 minutes. Really though, it was tense. With just 3 seconds to go the Blaze had a face-off in Cardiff’s zone and it was down to one last shot from Owen Fussey, whose stick proceeded to break with a mere second to go. It pretty much summed up the Blaze’s night.

So to conclude, I rather enjoyed my first living room Elite League viewing experience. I didn’t stick around long enough to catch the Men of the Match as I had X Factor results to catch up on (priorities and all that) but for me, the Devils had a number of strong performances, surely one of their defencemen would have to take it as they performed admirably despite being short-handed. For the Blaze I was massively impressed with Shea Guthrie, his speed and movement on the puck were as good as I’ve seen this season but his shooting could use some work. Mike McLean had a good game too, acquitting himself well all over the ice and making a number of key checks.

I appear to have talked a lot. If you’ve made it this far, many congratulations. I assume my next column will be a bit shorter as a result of this case of textual diarrhoea, so fear not! Or if you know me better than that, you know to expect a similar level of drivel. Tune in at your own risk! Until next time, goodbye my pretties!

The Nomad Speaks: Chapter 236 and a half. Ish.

Cross-posted from http://www.ukamericansportsfans.com/

I’m back. And I have to admit, I’m feeling a bit rusty. The lack of exposure to live hockey this season has left me withered and crusty, like a dried up piece of chewing gum stuck under a park bench, used up and forgotten about. God what rubbish I talk. Anyway, I had missed my hockey dearly: it was time to break my fast and a banquet was laid before me in the form of TWO live hockey matches in the fine city of Belfast, a glut that would surely fill me to the brim with wondrous hockey-related tales to impart to you, my poor deprived readers. I was expecting to go away plump and fully sated, content to wallow in the warm glow that my hockey travels would induce and ready to wait patiently for my next instalment.

DAY 1: Friday 11th November

Sadly, almost the exact opposite was to occur. Let’s start at the beginning. There was a plane journey, a bus ride through some truly biblical rain, and a quick pit-stop at our hotel base, before we were on our way to the Odyssey Arena for the first game in our double-headed Giants weekend, against Fife Flyers. I’ll get this out of the way right now: not only am I merely in my sophomore year as a hockey supporter, but I have seen but one live match this season, so despite viewing a selection of odd highlights on YouTube and a bevy of stats on the Elite League website, I feel I might as well be back to square one. I’m a hockey novice again. A nomadic one. A nov-mad. A person who should stop making up words. All that to say, my weekend was one of first impressions, whereas for everyone else, they will have seen their teams in action loads of times and will therefore potentially rubbish my opinions, and for that I wouldn’t blame them. But I’ll share my impressions anyway, because that’s what I do.

The game was a bit pants, really.

We weren’t expecting a great deal, in fairness. Belfast are a very strong side at home, and let’s face it, they’re top of the league. Under-funded and short of imports, and with Danny Stewart recently named club captain and Toms Hartmanis signed to lead the forward line, Fife have basically morphed into last season’s Vipers team, so I was undoubtedly feeling an amount of trepidation as to how they would fare against a notoriously tough Giants side. I’ll stop beating around the bush: we fully expected a rout. It became clear however that this was not what we were going to get. I’m not going to give a detailed match report but I will make a few comments.

I’d been really excited to see the new crop of Giants players in action but some of the key players were quiet for them against Fife, notably Adam Keefe who, although solid, didn’t put in a standout performance, aside from a lone incident which could have exploded into violence if it hadn’t been over before it started, Fife’s 29 mugged by the Giants tough guy, the player basically on the floor before Keefe could really get going. He just looked at the guy and he collapsed in a heap. Keefe’s that hard. Impressive for the Giants today were defenceman Jeff Mason and centre Darryl Lloyd, the latter being my favourite of the Belfast team, a feisty, speedy, blood-and-guts agitator who came out all guns blazing and laid down hits worthy of a guy twice his size. Following the controversy during the week following a questionable hit on former Viper Sam Zajac, Benoit Doucet, unpunished by the Elite League on review, bounced back to score a hattrick and looked one of Belfast’s strongest threats throughout the game.

The scoreline flatters to deceive – it was nowhere near as exciting as it sounds on paper; the home side, although not massively threatened by Fife, did not take the game by the short and curlies and the three goal difference belies the reality of a game in which neither side was overly dominant. At one point in the third period, Fife were on the powerplay and Toms Hartmanis had a fantastic one-on-one shooting opportunity which he just missed. Had he scored, he would have brought the scoreline to within one goal and the game could have genuinely have been turned on its head. As it was, Fife were stubborn but ineffectual in front of goal, the Danny Stewart fighting spirit certainly on show but the lack of strength in depth clear for all to see. And despite the lack of actual fights, the game itself was chippy, with both teams taking numerous penalties, and it threatened to blow up as the final buzzer sounded, the ensuing multi-player handbag-dropping session more exciting than pretty much the entire game.

So what of the former Vipers? As if to make us feel at home, Danny Stewart for some reason took up a spot in defence, and spent a large portion of the game on the ice, along with Toms Hartmanis who displayed the same level of skill and class he did at Whitley Bay last season. Us Viper fans in the audience were greeted with confusion and disdain in equal parts by the Giants faithful, who were presumably thrown by our jerseys in a sort of ‘is it in fact 2010’ déjà vu moment. It felt like something between being an alien species and invisible, which suited us fine, as we mingled with the locals and joined in with the songs, dance routines and general good humour, and what little went on on the ice was much less dramatic than the terrible discovery during the second period break that the entire building seemed to have run out of cider. (Never fear, I found a pint eventually at the last bar I visited – the relief was palpable all around the arena).

ULSTER FRY: I didn’t take any hockey photos because, well, I just didn’t. I wasn't feeling inspired. I have posted this instead which I could use as some kind of hockey metaphor, something to do with breaking eggs, being full of beans... It might get a bit suspect when referring to the relative lack of meat or the size of the sausage though. So I think I’ll just leave it.

DAY 2: Saturday 12th November

By the time game number two came around I was ready for some serious action. And by this, I mean I was literally chomping at the bit. I was so pumped I reckon I could have put in a couple of decent shifts on the ice myself. (Let’s all relish THAT image for a moment, shall we. OK, I’m going to move on now and never speak of such a thing again). Tonight’s opponents were the Cardiff Devils who were expected to be a tougher test for the home side; a decent contest was expected by all. However, as I’m starting to learn that it’s okay not to mince my words and I don’t have to please all of the people, all of the time, I’m going to be brutally honest.

The game was a bit pants, really.

I mean, it was a marginal improvement on yesterday. But it was still missing some major amounts of spark. The Devils were sloppy, giving up penalties haphazardly in the first two periods, but the Giants just couldn’t make the powerplay work for them. Cardiff’s penalty kill team along with a confident Stevie Lyle in goal reigned supreme, and a correctly disallowed goal in the first period took the wind out of Belfast’s sails somewhat. At the other end, Murphy was strong in the Giants goal, and Cardiff had very few shots on either, however the difference between the sides was accuracy, two coolly taken goals to the Giants’ single successful strike going on to be the final score.

I hate to sound bloodthirsty but honestly, what was missing in the game was some good old-time hockey violence. It hung in the air like an unspoken threat, riling the crowd (it wasn’t just me, I swears it), but was never acted upon, tough guys choosing to take a back seat and leaving us frustrated and without resolution, and me yet to see the infamous Keefe doing what he arguably does best, although I would have taken anything at that point; Brad Voth having a heated altercation with a goalpost would have done. Both teams are notoriously physical however I would have to say that our first view of the Braehead Clan some weeks ago left them looking comparatively like far more of a physical threat than either team on this particular night; interesting then that the Glasgow side went on to beat Cardiff in their own rink the following night.

So what of the rest of the action? A few minutes into the third period the game finally picked up, players seemingly realising they were supposed to try and win, Lloyd and Kuiper in particular laying on some big hits for the Giants and lifting their teammates’ spirits. The final two minutes were all Giants, as they frantically tried to level the scoreline and take the game to overtime, but it was not to be and they were left to suffer their third home defeat of the season.

Don’t get me wrong: the edge was in no way taken off my overall Belfast experience by the lack of quality hockey on offer. The Ulster fry was excellent, the company top notch, the dancing cheesy and the weather even able to put in a decent showing after the initial torrents of rain. Sadly, visiting hockey celebrity Simmsey never put in an appearance in Rockies, but the men in black and white stripes, who also put in a good performance on the ice, were on hand to provide drinks.

Okay so I haven’t written much about hockey, but I haven’t written much about facial hair either, remarkable given that we are in the throes of Movember and I had a collection of 50-odd new hockey player faces to inspect over the course of the two days. Rather than dulling my enthusiasm, the lacklustre matches – although failing to provide any real inspiration for my post – have served as a reminder of what I am missing, and that in turn has sparked a desire to put in more of an effort to follow the league once again. I miss hockey more now than ever before. The connection may be missing, and that’s a bitch, for sure, but the passion is still there. I just have to find a way to channel it. And my unhealthy and (worryingly) sharply increasing desire for violence is probably not the healthiest expression of it. Suggestions?

Till next time folks. Don’t forget about me! Tell me things about hockey! And to the Elite League clubs – for the love of God, film some highlights, PLEASE?! How hard can it be? Ta very much!

Come on come on, let's stick together

I’m proud to say that aside from a couple of sarcastic film reviews and the odd disappointed gig write-up, I’ve never lifted a pen in anger. Or even hit a keyboard (work-related frustration doesn’t count). I hate confrontation. I’m a happy, clappy, ‘why can’t we all just be friends’ hippy throwback who basically just can’t be bothered to get involved in the petty online sniping that always follows an overly honest report or opinion. I’d much rather cloak things in humour or engage in a detailed consideration of facial hair.

I have to break not only my silence of late on this here blog, but also the above unwritten rule I once set for myself, to respond to Nottingham Panthers fan Allan Decker’s blog post on the TCW Fanzine (25/10/2011). In it he raises a number of valid points about the finances of top league hockey in the UK at the moment, interspersed with some fairly controversial and I would wager intentionally inflammatory digs at other teams.

I was disappointed with the piece for a number of reasons. Aside from the fact it would have been a well written blog had it not been so needlessly antagonistic, the points Mr Decker was making held water and are issues the Elite League itself will need to consider and deal with in the future as they, and other leagues, have had to in the past. However, instead of making some practical suggestions, perhaps inviting a thoughtful response from his readers, or even – heaven forbid – adopting some kind of spirited ‘we’re all in this together’ mentality, he instead chose to vilify other teams at every opportunity in order to make his point. Productive? Er, that’s a negative.

So what has happened to the hockey community that I so recently came to know and love? It clearly experienced a congeniality bypass when it got to Mr Decker. Coming from the standpoint of a brand new hockey fan I feel I've had a unique insight that many long-term fans may appreciate and those who have read this blog before will hopefully have been amused by, and I can safely say that along with learning myriad rules, names of players, team history and generally fully ensconcing myself in the hockey lifestyle and experience last season, I above all came to discover one key thing: that hockey fans stick together. The fragility of the infrastructure of a sport such as ice hockey in a country that couldn’t give a teeny tiny hoot about its existence as a whole is tangible. Ask Vipers fans, but also Hull, Edinburgh, Fife. And those are just teams who have been hit by hardship of one form of another in the last couple of seasons. Looking back through the recent history of the sport you can see how volatile the situation is, and how unless we stick together – at EVERY level, from the fans in the stands to the guys in the boardrooms – it cannot be sustainable in the long-term.

‘Insufferable whingers’ as we may be (and yes, I include myself in this group – I AM a Viper – whether I have a team or not), there was no doubting that Vipers fans had friends in every rink last season, and this was no more apparent than when we were in dire need of support and fans from every other team chipped in to help, coming to Whitley Bay despite its less apparent charms, buying raffle tickets, even buying tickets to our games when they weren’t even able to attend. And I'd like think we would have done the same for another club in trouble. Is this the way things are supposed to be? No, absolutely not. But past bad business decisions or no, the management worked their fingers to the bone in the face of adversity to ensure they could survive the season, for the sake of the fans, the team and the league. And our friends around the UK did what they could to help us. It was no more apparent than at play-off weekend, where the loud, proud Vipers contingent were greeted in every pub and at every game with a real sense of empathy for the situation we found ourselves in. And the Vipers were there to support the sport, regardless of the hand we had been dealt.

What sort of fan in this so-called community brushes aside such effort, goodwill, friendship, and indeed history to complain about another team not having the money to compete with their team? Who will benefit, ultimately, from teams like the Vipers, Capitals, or whoever, folding? It’s impossible to sustain a league of any sensible size using the Panthers as a business model. Yes it’s working for them – but at what cost? Everyone has their opinions, but personally I would love for each team to be as strong, and competitive, as they possibly can. We didn’t ask Panthers to ‘play down to our level’ as Mr Decker twice opines in his missive – as I recall, we played over and above THEIR level on a couple of occasions last season. And us, with our resources, beating them, with theirs, made them the sweetest wins of all. Having supported an underdog football team for most of my life, I wouldn’t dream of taking that feeling away – it’s priceless. And isn’t that what sport is all about?

So what exactly is Mr Decker complaining about? That ‘pauper clubs’ are giving their poor club a ‘raw deal’ by having the bare-faced cheek not to be quite as good as they are, despite a massive lack of resource? Have Panthers fans even sat down and contemplated what their hockey experience would be like if purely the teams THEY deem to be appropriate were in the league? Who else, in reality, can sustain that level of financial outlay? Belfast, Sheffield, perhaps Coventry? A league of 3, maybe 4 teams? It’s an insane notion and I have no doubt that if they really considered it, Panthers fans would not want this. It’s not workable, and it would be unlikely to be attractive to import players let alone help to expand or improve the profile of our sport. It’s this sort of blinkered attitude that will get hockey fans exactly nowhere in their pursuit of a sustainable future for the sport and may ultimately cause the implosion of ice hockey at a professional level in the UK. And Mr Decker has the audacity to call US selfish.

So instead of complaining, what can we do? Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not professing to have the answers, I’m not even sure what all of the questions are. But one thing I know for certain is that sniping at each other is not a positive step. What makes ice hockey such a difficult sport to sustain at a high level in this country is also in part what makes it great: the feeling that we are all in it together, because it’s a minority sport. That desire to tell others about our great sport, to drag along a total newbie like myself and have them become as passionate about hockey as you are, cannot be an isolated feeling that only smaller team’s supporters experience? Because person by person, we can take small steps in the right direction. Fixing the problem as whole we may not be able to do – that would require more fundamental changes at a higher level and I confess I know little about that side of things, despite having gleaned some interesting insights during the latter half of last season. But the idea that individuals cannot make a difference has to be faulty logic in this sport – there are so few of us to begin with, in comparison with the really successful sports in our country, if we are all pulling in the same direction, surely it has to at least improve the situation?

My team is no longer in existence and yet myself, and plenty of my fellow supporters, have already been and will be journeying around the country to watch the sport we love this season and beyond, putting a few pounds in the pockets of YOUR club, but more importantly, into OUR sport. In the same way that two enforcers settle their differences on the ice, the differences we have supporting our own teams can be vehemently expressed during games, but surely can be put aside afterwards to work out how to move the sport forward in this country. And I’m speaking as a fan of Elite League Ice Hockey here, by the way. Not the Vipers. Us insufferable whingers don’t exist anymore, remember? I feel this way regardless of my allegiances. I want to support hockey. So I'm issuing an apology right now to the current Elite League clubs - sorry, but you're stuck with us. We'll whinge our way around the UK, and hopefully put the world to rights as we go. And maybe, just maybe, we might find a solution along the way. Together!

Time for this idealist optimist to shut her gob. See, I didn’t even say anything rude. Apparently it’s possible to make your point, however vague it might be, without insulting others. How's that for not playing down to your opponent's level.

On the Road Again…

Written for http://www.ukamericansportsfans.com/

My first match of the season involved a trip to Glasgow, home of the Braehead Clan, to view THEIR first match of the season, against the Dundee Stars. My partner is crime and I proudly wore our Vipers jerseys and garnered a fair few double takes around Braehead Arena as we took our seats, as Clan fans presumably wondered for a second if they had gone back in time to last season. However they couldn’t have been nicer to us. Hands were shaken, regrets expressed, and welcomes extended, and for that I would like to thank them. It reminded me once again of what a great community British ice hockey fans have built.

I was anticipating a close run game; of the four Scottish sides active in the Elite League this year, with the best will in the world, these are the only two who are likely to be really competitive in the league. Could one of the two step it up to compete with the big boys, rather than scrapping for seventh or eighth place? It was time to find out what they had in their respective tanks. Having played two games already I expected Dundee to be the more organised of the two sides, and more disciplined. I was quickly proven wrong.

Ooh look at the lovely shiny ice! And those proud moments just prior to face-off, on your first game of the season. Doesn’t it just get you right there (tap yourself near the heart now, please).

Bosh!

Wow. What a start to a season! The Clan boys had clearly had their spinach prior to the game – the phrase ‘all guns blazing’ barely covers it. Dundee simply weren’t ready and they bore the brunt of the fire that was burning under the Clan’s rear ends, players scattered left, right and centre by returner Kyle Bruce who was baying for blood. Bosh! The crowd flinched collectively in sympathy for his hapless victims before nodding, impressed. What a dude. New import Brock McPherson and Ryan Campbell also came out fighting and Braehead instantly put themselves on the map, their physicality too much for Dundee and surely enough to compete with the likes of Cardiff and Nottingham.

New boys and old combined to form some seriously strong attacking lines and Clan kept their shape well, the skill level not sacrificed for the sake of high intensity, and the goals came, two of them in the first period, the first from the stick of Vince Connon following a piece of incredible individual skill from former Panther Jade Galbraith, and the second scored on the breakaway by captain Jordan Krestanovich, who looks as though he is going to show his quality right from the off this season.

The second period things levelled out and the game became more competitive, Dundee pulling out all the stops to impose themselves on Braehead and interrupt their attacking flow. And it worked, to an extent. The period was scoreless and it looked as though the tides may be turning, Dundee’s two-game advantage starting to show. However going into the third period it was clear that something still needed work in the Stars’ camp. Repeated failed powerplay attempts left them looking completely clueless and it was no real surprise that Braehead took full advantage, scoring not one but two goals short-handed, the first of which an outstanding solo effort from Jim Jorgenson, who looks like a handy attacking defencemen and is definitely one to watch. The wheels came off then for Dundee, gaping holes in their defence exposed, and the game was pretty much over when Adam Walker scored the fifth with just 10 minutes left on the clock; it was something of an anti-climax from that point on.

Finntastic

Both netminders had their moments tonight; Dundee’s Chris Whitley soaked up much of Braehead’s early pressure but tired in the third and was switched out in a bid to halt the Clan’s rampant assault on his goal. On the other hand, brand spanking new goaltender Jaakko Suomalainen shone between the pipes for the Clan, his defences impenetrable, his speed and dexterity matched only by his awesome dress sense and the fact that he resembles the guitarist from a band I used to be in, and the fact his name was just written to be put in a song (think ‘hi ho silver lining’). The Finn vied with Krestanovich, Bruce and Galbraith as the game’s stand-out player and looks set to become a fan favourite in Glasgow.

Team Stripey

Maybe it’s because I’m technically a neutral now so my passions aren’t running as deep, but I genuinely thought the guys in black and white had a good game tonight, keeping a lid on the tensions and only missing one key decision (as far as my fledgling rules knowledge could see) – a case for boarding on Jim Jorgenson early in the third period – but other than that Hanson and his team did a solid job and left us considering our allegiances – perhaps now we don’t have a team we should invest in some black and white striped shirts and support the referees? They don’t get much love now, do they. Okay okay, it was just a thought – please stop throwing things at your screen.

Cuddles

Ah Jade Galbraith. How do I like to gently mock you? Let me count the ways: he has a girl’s name. He is fond of an all-you-can-eat buffet. And he clearly likes to have a good time, possibly to the detriment of his career (these are statements of fact, people, fact). I saw plenty of Mr Galbraith last season – it wasn’t hard, there’s plenty to see, after all – and there was never any denying his skill. He has it in spades, and if Clan fans were in any doubt about his commitment or whether or not he was really worth the money, he silenced them tonight. Well, actually the opposite. I’d say they seemed quite pleased with him, in fact. His part in the first goal was sublime, he had many moments of genius, and he even invented a new check, the figure-skating check, somehow taking out a Stars player with something akin to a triple toe loop. Frankly, he’s pure class. I’ll admit he’s not the most, um, athletic of gentlemen. In fact it could be said that he’s, well, a tad on the rotund side. Diplomatic enough? I think so. But he seems quite unconcerned by his ample abdominal area if truth be told, and I found myself hypnotically drawn to his protruding middle, much the same as I was drawn to a certain man’s beard last season. I have therefore made it my mission to get a Jade cuddle before this season is out.

I don’t intend to ask him for one of course, that would be far too easy. It will instead be a sort of attempted sneak attack. Possibly from behind. I will just have to really hope he appreciates the thought otherwise I might get a punch in the face. Watch this space. It won’t be empty for long.

Impressed, much?

So yeah. Braehead Clan. I am impressed. The test will come of course, when they face the likes of Belfast and Nottingham, but I was very encouraged by what I saw. They still have the not inconsiderable experience of Mike Bayrack to add to their ranks, the Canadian defenceman a late arrival due to visa complications. It was also unusual for us not to see Vipers’ own Sammy Zajac spending a good 30 minutes on the ice based on last season’s experience, but then we remembered that Clan have a full squad – luxury!! He didn’t ice for long on Saturday but made few mistakes and acquitted himself well; the lad should come on a bomb his season with the experience around him.

So that’s me. I told you I write a lot. I hope you found it at least mildly entertaining, and I will attempt to bring you more nuggets of wisdom in the weeks and months to come. As well as detailed reports of my progress in Mission: Cuddle Jade. See you soon!

What's goin' on 'ere then?

Oh hi, hockeylings! How are you? Fighting fit? I do hope so. Apologies for going MIA, I hope you didn’t suffer too much separation anxiety and you’ve managed to successfully navigate the opening weeks of the new Elite League season without me. I feel hopelessly out of touch having returned from a long holiday and will be spending a large portion of time watching highlights videos and reading gamecards in order to get up to speed with the goings on so far. It's going to be like a combination of repentance and unashamed geekery I’ve concluded the following so far, based on my ferretings around the interweb:

- Sheffield aren’t quite as good as normal
- Hull are better than normal
- Belfast are good but could be better
- Nottingham are better than expected much to everyone’s irritation. Sexy Neilson Hockey has not yet made an appearance
- Cardiff aren’t going to have a great season
- Brad Voth is still worthy of people going without shoes
- Edinburgh are sadly going to pick up where they left off
- Fife are going to be the plucky underdogs
- Coventry are going to be good
- Dundee have been quiet but could spring a few surprises
- Braehead haven’t started yet
- Lots of people have gotten themselves injured already
- There are two people called Brock Mc-something in the Elite Ice Hockey League
- This both amuses and confuses me

Erm, I don’t like to blow my own trumpet or anything (parp), but other than the first two points where I was a bit wide of the mark, I believe I predicted all of the above in my season previews!! GO ME! Okay so it wasn’t that hard bearing in mind most of those are vague statements and there’s a long way to go, but still. Yeah so I just articulated what most people were thinking, so what. I need to feel useful, or clever or something! I don’t have my own team to be clever about anymore!

While I'm thinking of my old team, there are two key clubs to watch if, like me, you’re still reminiscing about last season’s glorious highlights through Viper-tinted spectacles. First is Amiens in the French Ligue Magnus who have added Kyle Sibley and Jaroslaw Rzeszutko to their ranks, along with Nottingham Panthers’ Angel Nikolov. Second, and my tip for ‘random place to run away to when you're feeling a bit stalk-y’ are the Missouri Mavericks. They have not one, not two, but THREE Vipers from the 2010/11 season, Charlie Effinger, Toms Hartmanis and Dale Mahovsky (splitter), and definitely have me plotting my escape from the country, not that I fancy Missouri much as a place to live. It’s a bit dull. I’m sure they’ll have a rubbish time, in comparison with the delights of Whitley Bay. I'm not jealous, really.

As for the remaining members of last season’s Vipers team, a few of the Brits have made the long journey south to the Isle of Wight, Coach Danny has launched into his career with Fife Flyers with a vengeance, throwing down the gloves once already with Panther’s Steve Lee. John Schwarz, mysteriously, has quit hockey entirely, presumably to concentrate his efforts on advanced beard-growing. And speaking of beards it appears that Mike Prpich has been abducted by his, as he hasn’t been seen since April. And our very own Sammy Zajac will make his debut this Saturday night for Braehead. And I shall be in attendance, making my Elite League debut, on the very same night.

Based on a combination of factors as follows, in no particular order, I have developed a soft spot for Braehead:

(1) Location/cost; I love Glasgow as a city and it’s not too far on the train.
(2) Craic.
(3) Purpleness of jersey.
(4) By pure chance home games don’t begin until this weekend due to an ironic twist of fate involving one of my other beloved sports, tennis. This pleases me as it means I haven’t missed anything.
(5) They made up the other 50% of my first ever Elite League hockey experience.
(6) They, like me, are only a year old in hockey terms.
(7) They’ve got our Sammy. They’d better look after him!

So I’ve decided that they will be the lucky recipients of the vast proportion of my affections this season. It’s okay, Clan fans. I understand how thrilled you must be to have me on board and I’ll give you a moment to come to terms with the sheer awesomeness of the honour I am to bestow upon your club. In time you will come to get used to the inordinate levels of rambling I shower on the object of my affection.

I jest of course. It’s not going to be a bed of roses for either of us. Okay it won’t be easy at first. We’ll have to get used to each other. Like a new pair of shoes, the fit may not be perfect, or instant, but I hope we’ll take to one another and perhaps I can earn your affections. I’ll say this. It’s not going to be easy for me either. I want to commit to a new team (see my previous post in which I rant like a loon about needing to support SOMEBODY), but it doesn’t take away the uncomfortable, squirmy feeling I get when I think about wearing another team’s colours, or chanting another team’s name. It’s like some weird communal version of infidelity.

Those of you who have read me before will know that I’m prone to the odd over-dramatic extended metaphor. Those of you who haven’t are in for a bit of a surprise. Try reading my post 'Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today…’ (Jan 2011) if you want to know what I mean. But, I'm not exaggerating when I say I’m, like, a hockey widow! It's true! My first love (the Vipers) has died, so now I'm all alone and I need some company in this big wide world, y'know? Braehead, like, basically you're my new boyfriend. Um, yeah. Wow. This post is sliding swiftly downhill and I’m going to put a stop to it right now!

See you tomorrow Braehead fans! Please don't run away, I promise I'm not THAT weird! Everyone else, I shall post my thoughts on the weekend’s action around the league at some point next week – brace yourselves! It will be full of the stunning insight that watching only one hockey match so far this season can bestow!

Season Preview: Part 2

I bring you the conclusion to my team-by-team preview of the EIHL season ahead.

EDINBURGH CAPITALS

It’s been a fairly quiet summer for last season’s bottom-placed side. Signings have been few and far between, new imports have included some European talent – for the most part Slovakian, the most recognisable name one Sladok of the Hull Stingrays. Early on it seemed likely that the Caps would struggle again this season both on and off the ice, as their lack of finances prevented them from investing in the quality they need to launch a convincing bid for one of the league’s eight play-off spots. I’m sure I echo the sentiments of the vast majority when I say I really hope the season they put together can be more successful than their last and that they find themselves able to compete at a decent level. The big boys will certainly show no mercy.

One to watch: The recent acquisition of forward Richard Hartmann could be key for the Caps, the Slovakian has a good scoring record and years of experience in Slovakia which should be beneficial given the make-up of the current squad.
Predicted finish: Unfortunately I can’t foresee anything but a repeat of last season. 10th.
Fun fact: The Caps have this year signed what sounds a lot like a Slovakian comedy duo in Holecko and Valecko. This amuses me in a Slovakian sort of way. Slovakia.

FIFE FLYERS

It’s going to be hard not to like Fife. New to the league this season, the Kirkcaldy club are the oldest ice hockey club in the UK and have a great history, but the step up is going to be a tough one and the boys are really going to have their work cut out for them. Rumours have been rife of a lack of funds that may lead to them falling short of their full quota of imports, but evidence of this has not been forthcoming and although late to the party in terms of signings, Fife are catching up slowly as Todd Dutiaume attempts to construct a side capable of competing at this higher level. Everyone will be keen for the club to do well and looking out for early results as they find their feet, so here’s hoping the Fifelians (yes, yes, I did just make that up) are ready for what’s coming at them.

One to watch: Without the reigns of coach-dom holding him back, Danny Stewart will be able to unleash the player within, which believe it or not is actually a forward (Vipers fans were far more used to seeing the poor guy covering in defence). Check out his mad slapshot skills. GO COACH!!
Predicted finish: They will battle hard enough to avoid being the bottom of the pile: 9th.
Fun fact: Fife's inclusion in the Elite League is a triumph for Egnlish teachers nationwide as they become the only team to feature both alliteration AND assonance in their name! Shame about the lack of onomatopoeia to complete the trifecta of 'words I put in my GCSE Literature paper to score extra marks' but these things can't be helped.

HULL STINGRAYS

Hull have used their quota of imports to bring in a number of European players this season, along with re-signing some of their key players from the 2010/11 season including top scorer Jereme Tendler, netminder Christian Boucher and right wing Jason Silverthorn. They continue with Sylvain Cloutier at the helm as they look to consolidate on what was an unremarkable but in some ways unexpected 2010/11 season, their campaign having at one point been an impossibility as the club languished without an owner and looked set to be excluded from the League. Also added to the squad is a face well-known to British hockey fans in Derek Campbell, who completed a surprise switch from Sheffield, and long-term target Josh Mizerek.

One to watch: Josh Mizerek was set to take the captain’s armband at Hull last season before the club folded so he has plenty to prove and brings a wealth of experience along with him.
Predicted finish: Hull have added experience and physical presence to their side, but I’m not sure they will have the edge required to hit the top half of the league. 8th.
Fun fact: Stingrays are undoubtedly mean. The late great Steve Irwin can attest to that. But I think the dude on their logo looks quite beguiling, he's all smiley like. A lot like this guy:

'Mean? Who, me?' Okay I admit it. I've got nothing.

NOTTINGHAM PANTHERS

The play-off winners made their statement early on in the off-season, re-signing a number of key players from their 10/11 campaign, including highly rated netminder Craig Kowalski, and adding the services of Belfast’s Brandon Benedict and excellently named forward Scott Champagne. The East Midlands side features a sizeable chunk of the silver-medal winning GB squad and it cannot be argued that they boast the finest compliment of Brits of any Elite League side. They completed their line-up with tough guy blueliner Brock Wilson who has racked up a great deal of ECHL experience over the past few seasons and will add to the Panthers’ physical presence, already guaranteed by the re-signing of enforcer Guy Lepine.

However despite the stability that comes with keeping key elements of a team together, it can’t be denied they’ve lost two of their stars of last season in Billy Ryan and Jade Galbraith, and an immense amount of firepower with it. Will Benedict be able to step up to the plate in a way he couldn’t manage in Belfast last season? Perhaps, but regardless of this I feel that despite a strong and steady core the Panthers may lack flair this season and that combined with coach Corey Neilson’s notorious tactics will be their downfall.

One to watch: Danny Meyers. The Captain is always influential both on the blueline and for the team as a whole. Plus he wins at beards.
Predicted finish: 3rd
Fun fact: The Panthers’ 2010/11 season highlights DVD was entitled ‘Now that’s what I call Sexy Neilson Hockey’*. Further volumes of these ‘best of’ DVDs are expected on a bi-annual basis. Because Neilson Hockey is too sexy to fit on just one DVD.

*it wasn’t. But it should have been.

SHEFFIELD STEELERS

The Steelers are always a force to be reckoned with in the top tier of British hockey and more often than not turn out an assured, experienced team who are rarely out of the upper echelons of the league table. Last season’s Steelers team were undoubtedly strong, consistent and dominant but they lacked a certain je ne sais quoi. With Ryan Finnerty back at the club and taking the reins, I feel this will be put to rights this season. In his first season coaching Finner will be keen to make an impression and I believe he will mould his squad in his own image. His never-say-die attitude combined with a collection of quality import signings and a core of strong, committed Brits should inject the fizz and sparkle that was missing from their performances last season, and I am looking forward to seeing what they can produce on the ice. They will push hard to retain their league title and I think it will go down to the wire. Their biggest loss from the 2010/11 title-winning team was arguably rock-solid netminder Ervins Mustokovs, but in John DeCaro they have signed what on paper looks to be a worthy replacement.

One to watch: Colt King – one of the strongest import signings of any club this season, King’s extensive experience is going to lead to high expectation from Steelers fans. He’s not afraid of a fight either which will be handy following the loss of Derek Campbell.
Predicted finish: Sorry Simmsey – I think they’ll be pipped at the post by the Giants – 2nd.
Fun fact: If Dundee have the most amusingly named player, Steelers have undoubtedly the coolest named player in the league this year. Colt King. The man, the legend, the sawn-off shotgun?

...

So there's nothing more to say. I'm spent! And it's still only August! The season openers edge ever closer, only just over two weeks away now; I will shortly be heading out of the country on a fact-finding mission to North America (read: three week beer and sun-worshipping tour of South-West USA) and when I return the season will be in full swing. I'm practically salivating. Are you?

I am serious sports journalist, hear me roar

Right. There’s been far too much ‘ooh-ing’ and ‘aah-ing’ and whining and crying and namby-pamby, arty-farty, girly rubbish on this blog recently, and for that I apologise. We’re now at the business end of the summer and so finally, it’s time for me to put sentimentality aside and take an objective look at the coming season. Who’s looking good and who is struggling? Which signings have put the fear of god into the opposition? Who will I be paying my money to go and see next season? Have I learnt anything at all about hockey since last season, and can I pass myself off as a decent hockey writer? These and other questions are about to be answered as I engage in a team-by-team 2011/12 preview. Bold, ambitious, in several parts, and ultimately likely to result in a discussion about beards. But before I launch into roving reporter mode in an attempt to convince you all I’m worth taking seriously, I feel I must balance the factual with the juicy, the speculative and the downright contentious. I bring you:

MY SUMMARY OF THE SUMMER ACTION – AND BY THAT I MAINLY MEAN ‘GOSSIP’!!

There were juicy snippets in all possible areas of hockey life. It all started with a glorious performance by team GB in the Ukraine. After that, things got snipey. Owners bickered. Companies went into liquidation. New teams raised their status. Players became coaches, moved between English clubs, moved to Europe, moved back again. Coaches were staying, then going. Key imports were re-signed, lost and discovered. Hull and Edinburgh went Euro-centric. Giants got smaller. Mystery surrounded the whereabouts of Brad Voth. Shoes were put back on. Then taken off again when he was found. The hockey world acquired its very own Julian Assange. Dave Simms offended people. Rumour sites vied to bring the most accurate gossip, earliest. Dave Simms misled people on several occasions. Coventry started over having had half of their team retire. Danny Meyers had surgery and then declared he would put on a stone as if to compensate for the loss of Jade Galbraith in Nottingham. The shock move of the summer occurred involving the latter-named player. And Vipers fans became nomadic.

Okay enough of that. Now on with the facts! I’ll present the teams in two parts to break it down in an attempt to let my wisdom fully penetrate your brain-holes. But to keep things orderly, I’m going to do it in alphabetical order. Let’s do this thing!

BELFAST GIANTS

It seems to have become standard in recent years for the Northern Irish team to assemble a selection of players capable of contending for the league title but without an end product to speak of. Coach Doug Christiansen had his critics last season and despite boasting a roster of quality imports, honours were not forthcoming. But this season could be different. He has once again pulled together a mouth-watering selection of North Americans in what looks to be the strongest collection of imports of any team, even further bolstered by their decision to go with 11 imports, surely a statement of intent from Christiansen, and if the British players can raise their game and Christiansen can get his tactics right, I don’t see any reason they shouldn’t be top of the pile come March. The Giants are the team to beat this season and quite frankly on paper, the title looks theirs to lose. I for one cannot wait to see them in action.

One to watch: It has to be Adam Keefe. He’s created the most buzz over the last few weeks, isn’t afraid of a fight despite lacking in the height department, can put away a few goals it seems, and most importantly he looks just like that wrestler. You know the one. Er…
Predicted finish: I really think they can, and will, do it this season. 1st.
Fun fact: Belfast have possibly the shortest collection of players in ice hockey history, despite their name. This is ironic. Someone call Alanis Morrissette.

Is this the one I meant? I'm not even sure.

BRAEHEAD CLAN

The Clan have had a funny summer, opening with a couple of strong signings and then going quiet for a while. Plans went up in the air when coach Bruce Richardson, who had already committed his future to the club for the forthcoming season, changed his mind and decided to leave for a job in North America. Rumours as to his replacement rumbled through July and were finally quelled with the appointment of Drew Bannister, who spent part of last season in Hull and brings with him a wealth of experience. Bannister slapped his cards on the table almost immediately as in one of the most surprising moves of the summer, he secured the signature of Panther’s star man Jade Galbraith. Then they went quiet again and remain so with a number of players yet to be announced. There seems to have been unrest bubbling under the surface all summer over off-ice matters and it remains to be seen if this will have any effect on the on-ice product this season. I also can’t fail to point out that the Clan are now in possession of one Samuel L Zajac (middle initial actually unknown), formerly of the Vipers of Newcastle. They’d better look after him or there’ll be trouble. Mainly from him.

One to watch: Jade Galbraith will rule the roost in Glasgow and continue to frustrate defences up and down the land.
Predicted finish: 6th
Fun fact: In hockey terms, I have the most in common with the Clan, as we are both one year old! For this and other reasons, I will mainly be following this team for the 2011/12 season.

CARDIFF DEVILS

The Devils absolutely stormed the 2010/11 season and were desperately unlucky to walk away with no silverware to show for it. I’m sorry to say I don’t think they will repeat the heroics of last season this time around. Despite retaining the services of influential American forward Scott Matzka after a will-he-won’t-he move to France collapsed at the 11th hour, the Devils have sustained arguably the biggest losses of any Elite League side following the departures of Ryan Finnerty, Tylor Michel, Craig Weller and top-scorer Jon Pelle. Gerad Adams has added strength to his side with the signing of defencemen Chris Frank, and talisman Brad Voth announced he would see out his career in Cardiff this season, spending an seventh consecutive year with the Devils, but they are going to have to rely on the combined fire-power of returners Matzka and Max Birbraer to have a hope of competing with the likes of Belfast this season.

One to watch: Scott Matzka. Guy needs to step up to the plate this season and provide serious amounts of goals to give the Welsh side any hope of contending,
Predicted finish: Sorry to say, I cannot see them finishing higher than 5th (Note, I originally wrote this on 4th August BEFORE Simmsey made this prediction).
Fun fact: Cardiff is in Wales! That’s a whole other country! They talk funny there. And they have a fantastic set of fans!

COVENTRY BLAZE

Along with Panthers, Blaze were one of the teams who chose to show their cards early in the off-season, more through necessity than choice as a significant complement of their core had made the decision to retire from the sport. They signed a number of quality imports early on including former Newcastle Viper, Slovenian Matic Kralj and Canadian starlet Shea Guthrie. They have assembled a good range of players and look set to mount a more significant challenge on the bigger sides than they did in their disappointing 10/11 season. They are an exciting and dynamic prospect and will be a real handful this season.

One to watch: Shea Guthrie is a young talent who promises much. One of the players I’m most looking forward to seeing in action, he has size, speed and skill on his side.
Predicted finish: Blaze will do better this season with their young, dynamic side, and could give the likes of Nottingham a real run for their money. 4th.
Fun fact: Americans call Coventry ‘Cuventry’. If I was a Blaze fan I’d be hard pushed not to correct them every time they said that. I suppose I should be grateful there isn’t a team in Birming-HAM.

DUNDEE STARS

Dundee have flown under the radar this summer in terms of gossip, signings and general goings-on, but that’s not to say the wheels haven’t been turning in the chilly outer reaches of Scotland (well, okay, it’s not THAT far away – but it’s the furthest north of all the Elite League clubs!) Player coach Dan Ceman has played his cards close to his chest and has quietly gone about building up his squad, bolstering the Stars’ ranks with a solid selection of players, both British and import. They could be a dark horse in this year’s race, and I certainly feel they will improve on last year, and will definitely not have a scrap on their hands to make a play-off spot.

TWO to watch: Either Jarrett Konkle with his extensive experience in North America or Dan McGoff, the speedy offensive defenceman fresh from the Dutch league, could be the key players for the Stars this season.
Predicted finish: 7th
Fun fact: Dundee have continued in their quest to sign the most amusingly named hockey players in the land with the arrival of Konkle, who sounds like a cross between a large nose and a shell, and automatically rockets to top spot in the Amusing Names list, just edging out Panthers new boy Scott Champagne

Join me for the remaining 5 teams in tomorrow's post, good people of Hockey-land!

Tap, tap… Is this thing on?

Hello? Hellooooo? Here perhaps you could visualise me yawning and stretching, as I uncurl myself from my summer-shaped box and climb carefully back out into the world of British ice hockey.

And it’s a strangely barren world I find myself in. I’m used to football pre-season. It is, as a rule, very dull; the comings and goings of the transfer market serve to punctuate the brief but persistent void where football once was, providing some talking points in the absence of any real news. The announcement of the new season’s fixtures comes and goes in a flurry of non-news; if there was actual sport going on no-one would give a care as to the arresting discovery that Blackburn are away to newly promoted Swansea on the third weekend in November. But without the real thing on tap, it’s something to talk about. Tennis helps, when it’s on. As does athletics, and cricket. For the rest of the time, thumbs are twiddled, holidays partaken of, tabloid headlines featuring Premiership footballers gasped at, and life just generally got on with, safe in the knowledge that the continuation of life as a supporter of your particular team will continue in just two short months.

This is my first off-season as an ice hockey fan. And it’s already been found wanting. Wanting, most significantly, of a team. In my 20-odd years as a football supporter I’ve never experienced an aching void quite like this and I hope I never will. Not only is the season over – a fact which in itself I could cope with without too much of a problem – it IS summer, after all, and somehow gathering in a chilly ice rink when it’s 23 degrees outside seems as though it might be a bit odd – but I am now without a place in the world of the sport I love. It feels a bit like going back to former place of work to say hello to old colleagues, but when you walk into the office, it’s full of people you’ve never seen before. There’s that awkward moment of feeling as though, in your head at least, you still belong in this place. But nothing to cling onto to back up that notion. I’m metaphorically homeless. A bit of a pisser, as I was totally up to date with my mortgage repayments, I swears it, guv’nor.

So there’s no transfer news for us marooned Vipers fans, and no speculating over fixtures, or jerseys, or rinks, or owners. There’s just… Nothing. But defiance reigns among the faithful. We DO still belong here! We WON’T go quietly! And okay, we may not have a team THIS season. But we’ll be back in the future. Maybe. And in the meantime, the rest of you are just going to have to put up with us! Cue the impending arrival of the Viper Nomads in YOUR ice rink. A band of merry travellers intent on keeping the memory of the Vipers alive, visiting the homes of the other Elite League clubs in order to get their fix of top level hockey. It’s a temporary measure. And it will have to do. But you can be damn sure we will have fun in the process.

Well, what else am I supposed to fill the void with?

The whole thing has been just another surreal turn in the rollercoaster journey I’ve been strapped into since my first day as an ice hockey fan. And it got me thinking about the nature of being a fan. How do you choose a team when you start to follow a new sport? In adulthood at least, it can only be an arbitrary process, in stark contrast for example with the meaningful team-selections of childhood, which are less of a choice and more of an organic acceptance of the preferences of those most influential in your life, like a form of osmosis.

With football for me, for example, my selection was never in doubt. My football team is as inbred in me as my larger than average feet and my freakish ability to independently wiggle my ears. I was cheering for Watford before I even had the vaguest concept of what it meant. All I knew was, there were some men on a patch of grass, and a ball, and sometimes it made my Dad very happy. This consequently made me very happy. Therefore, Watford (or as I knew them back in those days, ‘youworns’) were good. As I grew into them they became embedded in my psyche. The reasons were simple: I lived there. My Dad supported them. They were my first experience of live football. They wore shiny colours and were really nice. I grew up with them, and they are as much a part of me as anything else I have lived with my entire life, like the odd lump on my right ear or my sticky out spine.

With hockey it was a bit different. No. A LOT different. I’d lived in Newcastle for six years and hadn’t shown the slightest inclination to start supporting Newcastle United, or Falcons, or any of the other local sports teams. So it wasn’t really the local connection. I put it down to the first experience thing. A bit like how a duckling will attach itself to the first live creature it sees when it is born, even if that creature happens to be a cat, or a llama. I saw them, and that was it. They imprinted on me, and I became their willing devotee. I could have chosen a team that were actually, well, good. I’d only been supporting them a couple of weeks, couldn’t I just switch allegiances? It’s not like my family supported them, or I had a whole host of friends to go to matches with (because I didn’t originally). And they really were quite poor at that stage. But to use another fitting analogy, it’s like giving birth to an ugly baby. You can gaze longingly at the perfect little angels in the cribs next to your mini Winston Churchill, and wistfully imagine what it would have been like if you had had one of those. But as wrinkly and pug-nosed as your disappointing offspring may be, it’s your disappointing offspring, and you literally couldn’t love them any more if you tried, however hideously disfigured they might be.

So to conclude, either the Vipers were my children, or they were my mother. I became quite concerned at that point as to the nature of that particular train of thought, as, I believe, would Freud have been were he to have psychoanalysed me at that point in time. But I digress.

I hope you’ve understood the general thrust of the slightly disturbing extended metaphor, and that it makes plain my current plight: WHO am I going to support next season? Because I couldn’t watch a sport with impassionate objectivity. It’s not in my nature. Is it in anyone’s?! I HAVE to support SOMEONE, in EVERYTHING. I can’t watch a football match, or a 100m race, or even archery in the Olympics, without backing someone. In international sports it often defaults to the British person. But not solely: in sport like tennis or athletics, I support the person who is passionate, wears their heart on their sleeve, or is just an all-round good egg. I champion passion, dedication and guts above all else – how can you fail to love a person or team who gives it their all? It’s the reason why last season’s Vipers team were just so perfect to me in the end, despite their apparent lack of quality when stacking up against the big guns (and it’s why I loathe the England football team in their current incarnation, aside from any patriotism, with all their preening, whining, philandering amoebic dysentery. But that's another blog post for another time).

So I’ve turned this current problem over in my mind a numerous occasions, and I’ve managed to narrow it down. I’ll leave you on that cliff-hanger and take my leave for now. But don’t go far – I’ll be back next week with my team-by-team season previews. It will be TOTALLY informative and thought-provoking. As if it would be anything else! Until next time, my pretties. Over and out!