Reasons to be Cheerful

Pray, look at that there optimistic post title! How did I do that? It’s January 6th. Surely there aren’t any? Reasons to be cheerful, that is? It certainly didn’t feel like it sloping in from our drubbing at the hands of the Nottingham Panthers on Monday night, with nothing to look forward to but a miserable morgue-like week at work, and a continued furrow on the brow of hope about all things British Ice Hockey-related, beginning but not ending with our seemingly insurmountable financial issues here in Newcastle. Why oh why did I let myself get so attached to this sport so quickly? Why oh why did I not heed the warnings of the knowing souls who told me it would not be easy to be a Vipers fan, and not to start worrying about all the things that go on off the ice? I’m some kind of idiot, I’m sure, but a love-struck idiot nonetheless, and though it pains my heart to see us struggle, I’m still 100% committed to the cause.

I’m going to quiet my infernal wailing and actually talk about the match for at least two sentences; I’ll try and stop before I over-depress myself and slump into a motionless heap over the keyboard. Please watch out for my vital signs – if something like this – ‘\sdjgkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkbh’ appears and continues for a few lines, please contact the emergency services.

Aw, look at the lovely picture. Look at it! LOOK AT IT! Right that's enough, you've had your happiness for the day. On with the misery! (Pic by Darran Gilpin)

So. Despite our fantastic achievements in Hull and Belfast, our little bubble had to burst eventually, and it did so in spectacular fashion, beginning with an 8-1 silencing in Cardiff on Sunday night. The Devils are the in-form team in the league, on a streak and a half, and they put us soundly in our place, little upstarts that we are, daring to beat the top side in the league! The Panthers were not on quite so much of a streak, and had had some troubles putting together a decent run of any kind in recent weeks, but they put their worries firmly behind them on Monday night, going 3-0 up within a matter of minutes and giving the Vipers faithful a less than pleasant welcome to the New Year at Whitley Bay.

It’s very hard to criticise the lads after their heroics in Belfast, and let’s face it, a return trip to Wales the day before any match must take it out of you, but they just weren’t switched on in the first period, and the Panthers walked all over them. Even the indefatigable Charlie Effinger seemed affected by the general malaise, although I must mention that he caught a puck to the face early on which didn’t seem to help matters. Our defence was in dire straits as it was, thanks to the almighty himself, Brad Voth, kindly landing on John Schwarz’ head the night before in Cardiff and ruling him out for the night. Of all the people you don’t want landing on your head, Brad Voth has to be pretty high up the list, surely ranking alongside the likes of John Prescott and Ann Widdecombe. We can only wonder what Schwarz must have said about Voth’s Mum to warrant that response. Last time we played Panthers it was hugely physical but that aspect of the game barely got off the ground this time, it didn’t seem worth the bother what with us already losing so heavily and being greatly lacking in the bench department. The whole encounter more closely resembled a collective sigh than a hockey match.

Things did pick up a little in the second period though. We were awarded a penalty shot, the first one I’ve seen since I’ve been watching hockey (and in all honesty, I didn’t know such things existed in the sport – it seems a trifle unnecessary what with all the offences you can commit and basically get away with, but who am I to judge!). These seem to be awarded when a player with a clear shot on goal is impeded, possibly from behind ie if the goalie is the last man. Or something like that. Possibly. (I ROCK at explaining the rules to stuff!). Anyway, sadly for me my first penalty shot was a missed penalty shot, but it felt typical of the evening we were having, so I didn’t let it depress me further.

The third period actually improved even further. Liam McAllister replaced Effinger in goal and put in a decent shift; Patrik Forsbacka who had looked a little turgid in the early stages of the game scored a cracking goal and that was closely followed by another, and suddenly the score was 9-3 and bizarrely, it felt as though we were back in contention. It’s amazing how quickly the mood can change in a hockey match and how, even in the direst of circumstances, a collective boost can be provided by a hopeful crowd. I doubt there were many of us who really believed we would win the match, needing as we did at that point to score 7 goals whilst keeping a clean sheet against a goal-hungry Panthers side who had been scoring for fun just one short period ago, but for a minute or two, the hope of a revival was enough. And then they scored again. And again. The bubble of the previous week had now not only burst, but become a distant memory.

So, reasons to be cheerful? There were some comedy moments laid on by the otherwise rampant Panthers side, with a few players falling over and bumping into each, so I’m trying to focus on those. Um, my football team are really good? That doesn’t help any of you though so let’s think of something else… We won the Ashes! So, some men who hit things are doing well! I feel I’ve made false promises with my post title and for that I apologise. I've failed you, my dear readers. I’ll come up with something, I promise. Just let me go to my happy place and rock backwards and forwards for a while whilst stroking a cuddly Viper. I’ll get back to you in February.