A Glaswegian Odyssey: Prologue

So, this weekend, I’m off to Glasgow to take in not one but TWO hockey games, and in true ‘I’m a proper writer, innit’ style, I’m going to preview the action ahead and perhaps hazard a prediction or two, before heading off for my lunchtime train. Because I’m a pro and that. Yeah!

Despite a professed fondness for Braehead early in the season, I have of late become somewhat estranged from my Glaswegian charges, having not seen them either live or on screen since their very first game of the season, back in September. They won convincingly that night and set out their stall as a feisty, physical yet skilful side, and it seems that the only thing they lack that prevents them from becoming a top side is consistency. On their day, they can take anyone. Will they be on their game this weekend? They come off the back of a pointless weekend last weekend so will be looking to appease the fans in this home double header.

First up, tonight, will be Belfast. Although the much-vaunted rivalry between Nottingham and Sheffield may be the biggest in UK hockey, they are not the only pair of teams with a mutual dislike this season. There’s no love lost between Belfast and Braehead, following the contentious and much debated events from earlier in the season involving Benoit Doucet and Sammy Zajac. It remains to be seen whether or not those demons have been laid to rest, or if the teams will still feel there are scores to be settled, however what most certainly isn’t in doubt is grudge match or not, these are two of the most physical sides in the league and the game promises to pack a major punch.

The teams are surprisingly well-matched, having met four times and shared the honours even, and it’s a tough one to call. Belfast lost their midweek Challenge Cup clash in Cardiff and in the league, with Nottingham and Sheffield breathing down their necks, two points on the road to start the weekend would make a statement to their rivals. However the injury-plagued Giants are a man down yet again, and a seriously important man at that, the hard-hitting and high-scoring Darryl Lloyd, so they will look once again to in-form Brit Rob Dowd who is on one hell of a hot streak to bamboozle the Clan defencemen and steal the win. Prediction? 2-2 in regulation time. I think it will go the distance and the Giants will win in the shoot-out.

On Saturday night the Clan face Scottish rivals the Dundee Stars, who are enjoying a mini-resurgence under coach Brent Hughes, having picked up three of the four available points last weekend. New boy Mark Kolanos is adding bite to their attack and despite personal cynicism having been unimpressed by the Stars on my two occasions of seeing them in action, it’s clear the side are starting to find some cohesion and in the play-off run-in they seek to pip a rival to 8th spot, and will look at games like this as chances to pick up precious points.

Goaltender Chris Whitley is consistently the best player on the Stars side and he will be looking to keep the scoreline lower than last time I saw these two sides face-off back in September, when the Clan netted an unanswered six. Braehead have had Dundee’s number so far this season and are unbeaten in four meetings against the Taysiders, but I think this will be their toughest test yet. Prediction: despite new-found confidence I still think Braehead have it in them to beat the Stars convincingly. 4-2 Clan.

Anyway. You might have noticed, if you’re a regular, or even casual reader of my ramblings, that I struggle to stick to a point. I don’t really want to be one of ‘those’ writers. You know, those ones that like, recount things that happen, in an orderly and factual manner. Journalists, I think they’re called. I like to impart great wisdom, through the medium of humour, inane observation and emotionally led opinion. Because let’s face it, you can pick up the facts from a number of sources. But what really HAPPENED? Who DOESN’T want to know about people falling over, amusing chants, pretty skating and comparative beard lengths?

I’ll admit though, I have drifted off topic perhaps one too many times and been a very bad hockey writer. Slap wrist. (Ooh I named two kinds of shot, see, look how topical I am!). As a result, I am setting myself a series of personal challenges to try and be a better writer, reporter and person. Here are my pledges. Call them (very) late New Year’s Resolutions:

1) I will attempt to limit my alcohol consumption prior to games so that I remain focussed on the job at hand. Just a half for me please, barkeep!
2) I will work harder at memorising squad numbers so I know who’s who at all times.
3) I will make copious notes in my blue notebook so that I actually remember what happened and don’t have to resort to piecing it together from my cider-addled recollections
4) I will attempt to take a selection of acceptable photographs. And what I mean by that is, not ones which feature blurry blobs on what may or may not be ice.
5) I will try to refrain from dancing during every single stoppage in play. It’s just plain unprofessional.
6) I will avoid commenting on facial hair for the duration of one whole report.
7) I will deliver you the FACTS!! The FACTS I tell you!
8) I will attempt to elicit a cuddle from a previously agreed member of the Braehead Clan squad. Oh wait, that’s going off topic isn’t it. Scratch that.

Come back early next week to see how I get on!! And now, To Glasgow!

The Tweet Generation

The Week in Review

It’s me again! And I’d like to think that given the number of times I've flapped my lips on this here blog, you, my lovely readers, must have gotten to know to know me. I’m a girl of simple pleasures, let’s face it. I love fights, beards, and players named after weaponry. And man, can I talk. I’ve not even seen any hockey this week and I’ve still got plenty to tell you. So let’s settle down and have a chinwag, shall we.

Without a live match for my poor, hockey-starved mind to devour, my thoughts turned to matters off-ice this week. And I’ll get to those in good time. But let’s start with some of the talking points from this week’s Elite League action. There was a thriller at the Odyssey as Braehead travelled to take on Belfast, and in an overly physical game there was yet more frustration for fight fans, as in the first meeting between Sam Zajac and Benoit Doucet since ‘that’ check which left Zajac sidelined with concussion, the gloves were dropped but the fight was unable to take place due to some over-enthusiastic officiating. A poor decision in my opinion and potentially a dangerous one: the guys clearly needed to air their grievances but were unable to do so; frustrations could have easily boiled over leading to more unsavoury outcomes being played out. In short, let them go*. If this wasn’t enough Adam Keefe tried to start a fight with half the Braehead team but no-one was game. ‘A’ for effort, lad. Belfast took the game by the horns with just three minutes to spare and continue to look dominant.

Coventry had a hairy bus ride home from Dundee after shutting out the home side and taking the two points back to the West Midlands. Thankfully they made it home safely despite the bus nearly being blown over. In other, more dramatic, and less hairy news, there were some sad losses in the world of British ice hockey as Matthew Myers (Nottingham Panthers) severed his enviable tresses and Chris Zarb (Dundee Stars) shaved off his frankly incredible beard. I’m still reeling from the shock of those unwelcome discoveries. Absent from the weekend’s action were the Sheffield Steelers who were all busy joining Twitter. Oh, and playing the occasional game of hockey in Denmark during their spare moments. They didn’t fare well in the Intercontinental Cup, despite a promising start, and were subject to some seemingly over-sensitive refereeing. Apparently the Europeans don’t do physical ice hockey. Whereas we like a good bashing here in the UK. On a positive note, their entire squad are now on Twitter, so the trip to Denmark wasn’t a total waste of time.

On Sunday, only one ice hockey team turned up in the first period for the dead rubber Challenge Cup tie at Skydome Arena, and as the only team there, the Blaze found it relatively easy to take a 5-0 lead. In the second period only one ice hockey team turned up too – this time however it was Nottingham Panthers, who proceeded to score 5 goals of their own to level the scores. I’m led to believe that both teams were present in the final period. The score was nonetheless tied.

The Tweet Generation

So that’s the hockey dealt with. Now onto my ponderings from the week. I hardly need to point out that as a fan of ice hockey, if you have any interest in the deep and meaningful thoughts that travel through the grey matter of the players you watch and admire, accessing said thoughts is not as difficult (or stalkerish), as it may once have been. No longer do you need to creep around behind them on the street trying to listen in to their private telephone conversations (I’ve not done that, by the way). Never again do you need to pen a desperate fan letter, asking them what their favourite colour is, or if they could be any superhero who would they be (I haven’t done that either. That I can recall). Instead, using the various social media that’s available, Robert is in fact your mother’s brother: instant access to a wealth of richness and diversity, courtesy of the collective brains of your favourite team(s).

By its very nature Twitter is a voyeuristic medium. It allows you to read for yourself whatever little nuggets of wisdom anyone you happen to be intrigued by is sharing with the world at any given moment. For some this amounts to reams of material daily, for others just the choicest morsels will be drip-fed to the starving masses, to satisfy the aching chasm deep inside that could only possibly be filled by the knowledge that their favourite Canadian defenceman is going to the bowling alley for the afternoon. It’s different to Facebook. Facebook is for friends, and family. Twitter is the social network of strangers. You are safe, hidden behind your maximum 15-character username, to follow the people whom you choose to follow without fear of retribution. You never have to talk back. You can read a full conversation between team mates about where to meet for coffee without having to get involved. But – you know they’re meeting for coffee. And that’s something you didn’t know before. Stalkers 1, Privacy 0!

Of course it’s hardly a place to reveal your innermost secrets if you don’t want anyone else to know about them, but there’s just something about Twitter. That sense that maybe, probably, no-one’s really listening (reading) tempts you into giving up just a little more information than you would if you were speaking to a group of people you barely knew in person. It’s the genuine candour adopted by sportsmen, celebrities and the like that makes following them on Twitter so appealing. That sense that you’re catching a glimpse into their everyday lives. Twitter obviously feeds one’s propensity to stalkerishness; but at least I’m not afraid to admit it!

Anyway I promised myself this wouldn’t descend (ascend?!) into a ponderous philosophical commentary on the vicarious nature of social media, so let’s cut to the chase. Ice hockey players: they really do love Twitter, don’t they? And while I concede that a lot of what they dribble on about is no more interesting than any of the rest of the inanity spouted by your average Twitter user, they do make for an entertaining follow. To support this week’s column and to find out just how many of them frequent the site, I set about compiling a Twitter list of EIHL players (available now for any user to follow – @ktdude/eihl-ice-hockey-players). I basically adopted the role of electronic shepherd, herding the lovely big lugs together in one easy to manage pen – and I am surprised to tell you that it contains just shy of 100 of the hairy creatures already. Basically half of the possible number of players contained in the league right now. Surprised? I was.

The variety of fripperies they supply is astounding; I have in recent weeks given Sam Zajac directions, asked Danny Meyers a question about his sideburns (he grows them because otherwise he’d look really young), seen pictures of the Belfast Giants’ Halloween party, viewed a wide selection of Movember moustaches, and discovered that Jeff Pierce really loves his own hair. They aren’t shy about voicing their opinions on games, either. It’s a whole added dimension to the dynamics that already exist between players, teams, coaches, managers, referees, fans, commentators and everyone else involved in our beautiful game. The NHL have banned the use of Twitter on game days. I don’t think the Elite League would ever have the faintest notion of doing similar and I for one hope it stays that way.

And viewing them all together in one list is priceless. It’s taking on a life of its own. Sheffield Steelers used their trip to Denmark as an opportunity to ensure that every single squad member was signed up and the resultant (presumably drunken – I’m allowed to say that, right?) nonsense has been quite amusing if not somewhat baffling to follow. It’s interesting what they choose to say, and not to say. For the most part they seem content to share a great deal – to the extent of possibly having boundary issues. Of course the majority of it is ‘in’ jokes and banter between teammates, but there is some genuinely fun content if you can get through this. My top 3 suggestions of players to follow:

1) Adam Keefe – self-appointed spokesperson for the Belfast Giants this season, Keefe has not wasted any time in throwing himself into life in Northern Ireland, and the Elite League in general. He Tweets regularly, but there’s plenty of substance in there, and he’s not afraid to bite back if someone tries to wind him up. He also made me come over all unnecessary following recent comments about his moustache. Top bloke.

2) Danny Meyers – speaking of top blokes, the Nottingham Panthers captain has surely got to be up there with the best of them. One of my first hockey player follows, Danny is just an all round good egg and is the perfect spokesmodel for Great British hockey. He loves his wife and kids, he enjoys a bit of banter with Simmsey, and he is happy to answer questions once in a while, even the more bizarre ones about sideburns!

3) Ryan Finnerty – Finner16 is a sound dude with a wry sense of humour and although he displays the restraint that a good leader should, he’s not afraid to engage in the banter and is clearly well-liked throughout the game and not just by his own team, or fans.

So to conclude: if you actually care about what goes on between the ears of your favourite hockey players, follow my list. If you don’t really care, follow it anyway, purely for the amusement factor. If you’re not even on Twitter, check it out. It’s ridiculously addictive. And a few weeks down the line, you’ll wonder how you lived without knowing about Jade Galbraith’s trip to the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet.

*STOP PRESS: The fallout from the Zajac/Doucet non-fight is more serious than first thought. Doucet is out for the season, due to a freak accident which occurred when he was wrestled to the ice by the linesmen who landed on him causing his knee to twist the wrong way. A sickening injury, which is a massive blow to the Giants and more so to the player himself. A great shame. My initial thoughts on the way the matter was handled were followed by a lengthy debate and some further hockey schooling and as a result I’m going to hop back up onto the fence on the matter, claiming ‘noobishness’ as my excuse for not being more outspoken. That is all.

The Nomad Speaks: Chapter 236 and a half. Ish.

Cross-posted from http://www.ukamericansportsfans.com/

I’m back. And I have to admit, I’m feeling a bit rusty. The lack of exposure to live hockey this season has left me withered and crusty, like a dried up piece of chewing gum stuck under a park bench, used up and forgotten about. God what rubbish I talk. Anyway, I had missed my hockey dearly: it was time to break my fast and a banquet was laid before me in the form of TWO live hockey matches in the fine city of Belfast, a glut that would surely fill me to the brim with wondrous hockey-related tales to impart to you, my poor deprived readers. I was expecting to go away plump and fully sated, content to wallow in the warm glow that my hockey travels would induce and ready to wait patiently for my next instalment.

DAY 1: Friday 11th November

Sadly, almost the exact opposite was to occur. Let’s start at the beginning. There was a plane journey, a bus ride through some truly biblical rain, and a quick pit-stop at our hotel base, before we were on our way to the Odyssey Arena for the first game in our double-headed Giants weekend, against Fife Flyers. I’ll get this out of the way right now: not only am I merely in my sophomore year as a hockey supporter, but I have seen but one live match this season, so despite viewing a selection of odd highlights on YouTube and a bevy of stats on the Elite League website, I feel I might as well be back to square one. I’m a hockey novice again. A nomadic one. A nov-mad. A person who should stop making up words. All that to say, my weekend was one of first impressions, whereas for everyone else, they will have seen their teams in action loads of times and will therefore potentially rubbish my opinions, and for that I wouldn’t blame them. But I’ll share my impressions anyway, because that’s what I do.

The game was a bit pants, really.

We weren’t expecting a great deal, in fairness. Belfast are a very strong side at home, and let’s face it, they’re top of the league. Under-funded and short of imports, and with Danny Stewart recently named club captain and Toms Hartmanis signed to lead the forward line, Fife have basically morphed into last season’s Vipers team, so I was undoubtedly feeling an amount of trepidation as to how they would fare against a notoriously tough Giants side. I’ll stop beating around the bush: we fully expected a rout. It became clear however that this was not what we were going to get. I’m not going to give a detailed match report but I will make a few comments.

I’d been really excited to see the new crop of Giants players in action but some of the key players were quiet for them against Fife, notably Adam Keefe who, although solid, didn’t put in a standout performance, aside from a lone incident which could have exploded into violence if it hadn’t been over before it started, Fife’s 29 mugged by the Giants tough guy, the player basically on the floor before Keefe could really get going. He just looked at the guy and he collapsed in a heap. Keefe’s that hard. Impressive for the Giants today were defenceman Jeff Mason and centre Darryl Lloyd, the latter being my favourite of the Belfast team, a feisty, speedy, blood-and-guts agitator who came out all guns blazing and laid down hits worthy of a guy twice his size. Following the controversy during the week following a questionable hit on former Viper Sam Zajac, Benoit Doucet, unpunished by the Elite League on review, bounced back to score a hattrick and looked one of Belfast’s strongest threats throughout the game.

The scoreline flatters to deceive – it was nowhere near as exciting as it sounds on paper; the home side, although not massively threatened by Fife, did not take the game by the short and curlies and the three goal difference belies the reality of a game in which neither side was overly dominant. At one point in the third period, Fife were on the powerplay and Toms Hartmanis had a fantastic one-on-one shooting opportunity which he just missed. Had he scored, he would have brought the scoreline to within one goal and the game could have genuinely have been turned on its head. As it was, Fife were stubborn but ineffectual in front of goal, the Danny Stewart fighting spirit certainly on show but the lack of strength in depth clear for all to see. And despite the lack of actual fights, the game itself was chippy, with both teams taking numerous penalties, and it threatened to blow up as the final buzzer sounded, the ensuing multi-player handbag-dropping session more exciting than pretty much the entire game.

So what of the former Vipers? As if to make us feel at home, Danny Stewart for some reason took up a spot in defence, and spent a large portion of the game on the ice, along with Toms Hartmanis who displayed the same level of skill and class he did at Whitley Bay last season. Us Viper fans in the audience were greeted with confusion and disdain in equal parts by the Giants faithful, who were presumably thrown by our jerseys in a sort of ‘is it in fact 2010’ déjà vu moment. It felt like something between being an alien species and invisible, which suited us fine, as we mingled with the locals and joined in with the songs, dance routines and general good humour, and what little went on on the ice was much less dramatic than the terrible discovery during the second period break that the entire building seemed to have run out of cider. (Never fear, I found a pint eventually at the last bar I visited – the relief was palpable all around the arena).

ULSTER FRY: I didn’t take any hockey photos because, well, I just didn’t. I wasn't feeling inspired. I have posted this instead which I could use as some kind of hockey metaphor, something to do with breaking eggs, being full of beans... It might get a bit suspect when referring to the relative lack of meat or the size of the sausage though. So I think I’ll just leave it.

DAY 2: Saturday 12th November

By the time game number two came around I was ready for some serious action. And by this, I mean I was literally chomping at the bit. I was so pumped I reckon I could have put in a couple of decent shifts on the ice myself. (Let’s all relish THAT image for a moment, shall we. OK, I’m going to move on now and never speak of such a thing again). Tonight’s opponents were the Cardiff Devils who were expected to be a tougher test for the home side; a decent contest was expected by all. However, as I’m starting to learn that it’s okay not to mince my words and I don’t have to please all of the people, all of the time, I’m going to be brutally honest.

The game was a bit pants, really.

I mean, it was a marginal improvement on yesterday. But it was still missing some major amounts of spark. The Devils were sloppy, giving up penalties haphazardly in the first two periods, but the Giants just couldn’t make the powerplay work for them. Cardiff’s penalty kill team along with a confident Stevie Lyle in goal reigned supreme, and a correctly disallowed goal in the first period took the wind out of Belfast’s sails somewhat. At the other end, Murphy was strong in the Giants goal, and Cardiff had very few shots on either, however the difference between the sides was accuracy, two coolly taken goals to the Giants’ single successful strike going on to be the final score.

I hate to sound bloodthirsty but honestly, what was missing in the game was some good old-time hockey violence. It hung in the air like an unspoken threat, riling the crowd (it wasn’t just me, I swears it), but was never acted upon, tough guys choosing to take a back seat and leaving us frustrated and without resolution, and me yet to see the infamous Keefe doing what he arguably does best, although I would have taken anything at that point; Brad Voth having a heated altercation with a goalpost would have done. Both teams are notoriously physical however I would have to say that our first view of the Braehead Clan some weeks ago left them looking comparatively like far more of a physical threat than either team on this particular night; interesting then that the Glasgow side went on to beat Cardiff in their own rink the following night.

So what of the rest of the action? A few minutes into the third period the game finally picked up, players seemingly realising they were supposed to try and win, Lloyd and Kuiper in particular laying on some big hits for the Giants and lifting their teammates’ spirits. The final two minutes were all Giants, as they frantically tried to level the scoreline and take the game to overtime, but it was not to be and they were left to suffer their third home defeat of the season.

Don’t get me wrong: the edge was in no way taken off my overall Belfast experience by the lack of quality hockey on offer. The Ulster fry was excellent, the company top notch, the dancing cheesy and the weather even able to put in a decent showing after the initial torrents of rain. Sadly, visiting hockey celebrity Simmsey never put in an appearance in Rockies, but the men in black and white stripes, who also put in a good performance on the ice, were on hand to provide drinks.

Okay so I haven’t written much about hockey, but I haven’t written much about facial hair either, remarkable given that we are in the throes of Movember and I had a collection of 50-odd new hockey player faces to inspect over the course of the two days. Rather than dulling my enthusiasm, the lacklustre matches – although failing to provide any real inspiration for my post – have served as a reminder of what I am missing, and that in turn has sparked a desire to put in more of an effort to follow the league once again. I miss hockey more now than ever before. The connection may be missing, and that’s a bitch, for sure, but the passion is still there. I just have to find a way to channel it. And my unhealthy and (worryingly) sharply increasing desire for violence is probably not the healthiest expression of it. Suggestions?

Till next time folks. Don’t forget about me! Tell me things about hockey! And to the Elite League clubs – for the love of God, film some highlights, PLEASE?! How hard can it be? Ta very much!