The Bel-fast and the Furious: A Weekend in Preview

Originally posted http://www.ukamericansportsfans.com/ on 16/02/2012

Belfast again, eh. I can’t deny it’s become a favourite destination for the discerning hockey traveller, and by that I of course mean me. It’s my second of three planned trips to the Northern Irish capital this season, the Giants being granted the pleasure of the lion’s share of my attentions partially due to me actually liking them as a team and partially because it’s just a great place to have a drink or six.

This weekend I will take in another two live hockey games in an attempt to convince myself that the Elite League really is as thrilling live as it looks on paper. I have to admit though, I harbour more than a little trepidation about the chances of this coming to pass, given this particular pair of fixtures. Let’s be brazenly up front about this: we haven’t picked the best weekend for it.

On paper it has the potential to be about as exciting as a bag of spanners (and for those of you unsure as to my meaning – I’m a girl. And I hate DIY. And plumbing and stuff). Belfast will face two sides in the Hull Stingrays and the Fife Flyers who, in ten attempts between them, have not taken a single point from the league leaders this season. Not a sausage.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s a daunting prospect for any team. The stats don’t lie: the Giants have not lost a league game in 2012, their only defeat of the year so far coming in the first leg of the Challenge Cup semi-final in Cardiff, and their last league defeat the arguably freak, probably turkey and mince pie-induced result against Braehead on 27th December. In the same period this time last season, by comparison, they lost five whole games, against a variety of opposition, including none other than the little old Newcastle Vipers. And they were still contenders for the title at that point. The contrast is marked. This is a team on a mission.

Their last three games have seen them take all available points against their two main rivals for the league title, winning their double header against the Panthers in dramatic fashion last weekend to dash the Nottingham side’s hopes of challenging for the top spot, and beating the Steelers the weekend before. And all of those on the road. They are a formidable prospect and have thrown down the gauntlet to all those around them – they want this, badly. And what Giants want, Giants usually get.

The question remains as to whether or not either of their bottom half opponents can mount any sort of challenge on Belfast this weekend and be potential Davids to their Goliath. In their comfort zone, at the Odyssey, it seems highly unlikely. The Giants fans, on a high from recent successes, will be in good spirits and will expect two sound beatings. I’m doing my best to come up with reasons why these games may not be as easy as they should be, but to be honest, I’m struggling.

First up are Hull, who, whilst experiencing a mini-resurgence, enjoying a four-point weekend last weekend in their double-header against Dundee, have not been setting the world alight. They were rocked this week by the news that star goalscorer Jereme Tendler has failed a drugs test (he has since been suspended), and despite their success last weekend, I don’t see Sylvain Cloutier’s men causing the Giants any real problems. They sides have only met four times in the league and the results have to date not been too shameful for the Stingrays, however I fear this may change on Friday night. Prediction: a good thrashing. Probably 6-2.

Next up the stumbling Fife Flyers, who despite pulling some key results out of the bag a couple of weeks back have been suffering from a bit of a slump in recent weeks. Like the Vipers last season, they are plucky and fearless on home ice, but in the expanse of the Odyssey they have not fared well, and I predict a similar result this weekend. In the six meetings between the sides this season, the Giants have won by an average margin of more than four goals, dishing out some sound beatings along the way. Prediction: a good thrashing. Probably 8-2.

It gives me no pleasure to bring you this news. I love a good underdog story as much as the next man. I was a Vipers fan after all. And I’m a Watford FC fan. And a Calgary Flames fan. It’s old hat to me. But the quandary I find myself in is that I actually want Belfast to win the league. So despite it being a distinctly un-British thing to do, I’m cheering for the favourites. Boring, aren’t I. This must be what it feels like to support Manchester United.

That being said, in my capacity as Chief Nomad of the Elite League, I will as usual be supporting the sport of ice hockey, and as such, am hoping and praying to the icy gods that the games aren’t as straightforward as I’ve predicted. I genuinely hope one of these two underdogs can make a decent fist of it, rather than being mere also-rans in the story of the Giants’ dominance. Belfast may be fast and furious, but there’s no reason why with a similarly feisty attitude and a temporary suspension of fear, any team might not be able to at least scare them a little bit. And I’m hoping it will be Fife. I can’t deny that with the Vipers connections in Danny Stewart and Toms Hartmanis, and the similarities with our situation last season, I do have a soft spot for the Kirkcaldy outfit, and I hope they can shake up the Giants on Saturday, even if only for a period. I’m not expecting miracles. Just a little magic.

Anyway! I will be back throughout the course of the weekend with thrilling match reports, so prepare yourselves. I hope the games exceed my expectations. If not, I will as usual attempt to entertain you in other ways. By describing my breakfast for example. And not writing about bags of spanners. ‘Bye then!

That was the week that was...

First published on http://www.ukamericansportsfans.com/ on 8th January 2012

January. The New Year. A time of resolutions, post-Christmas blues and detoxing. A time to stay in and slouch on your sofa, finishing off the last of the Christmas chocolates and the dregs from the Baileys bottle before launching into the latest fad diet.

I remember this time last year. The transition between Christmas and New Year was significant for me, not just because of the chance to stop force-feeding myself cheese and biscuits and consuming a bottle of wine a day, but because it was when I went from loving ice hockey, to being obsessed with it. And now I remember why. This holiday season, like the last, featured ice hockey in copious amounts. The Spengler Cup and the World Junior Championship adorned our screens, both featured on Eurosport for our viewing pleasure. There was my trip to Edinburgh, not quite the same as last year’s festive Vipers games at Whitley Bay, but still, it enabled me to keep up appearances in the Elite League. And I got an ice hockey film for Christmas! The masterwork that is Youngblood. Ah, scantily clad Rob Lowe. It’s what the holidays are all about.

In the NHL there was plenty going on as always, with the excellent HBO 24/7 series building up to the Winter Classic, and then the game itself on 2nd January, in which a flying Rangers side just got the better of a rangy Flyers side and skated into a comfy little soft spot in my heart in the process. I returned to work to find my Calgary Flames jersey had arrived, a little late Christmas present which lifted my spirits on the return to work. A shame that the team themselves couldn’t do anything of the sort with their on-ice performances. The less said about that the better.

And then I found out that there was to be another live broadcast on Sky Sports: Sheffield Steelers travelled to the Skydome in Coventry to take on the Blaze. Going to the pub in my detoxifying state was just not an option so instead I splashed out on Sky Sports for my home television. Elite League ice hockey in stunning high definition. It’s what Friday nights are made for.

Coventry haven’t beaten Sheffield yet this season, so they would look to break the hoodoo in front of their home crowd and the Sky cameras. Gin and tonic in hand (well, it’s got less calories than cider!) I was ready for a good contest. And it started out briskly, the first chance coming for Sheffield as Blaze picked up an early penalty, but it was wasted, the Steelers with no ideas and no killer instinct on their powerplay, and the Blaze producing an effective penalty kill. Was this a sign of things to come? Er, no.

After an entertaining first few minutes in which King and Jurynec effectively clotheslined each other, Shea Guthrie was speedy and Dave Simms saying ‘Venus’ sounded just like ‘penis’, ex-Blaze man Luke Fulghum scored the opening goal of the game against the run of play, easily finding a gap in the Blaze’s defences to score on Peter Hirsch. Then it was the Blaze’s turn on the powerplay – could this be their chance to stamp their authority on the game? Er, no. Despite some excellent build-up play they could not make the man advantage count; the Steelers’ killer pairing of Legue and Ramsay combining on the counterattack to score a 2ndand stun the Blaze. Steve Birnstill came close to making it three; Hirsch looked all at sea (I told you there would be more poetry eventually). Sheffield’s second line battled and the 3rd goal came from nowhere. This game was in danger of being over before it had started.

It was time for another one of Thommo’s magic time outs. Would it provide the spark that the home side needed to get back into the game? Er, no. The Blaze shut the door on the Steelers to some extent, halting the free-scoring and levelling the game somewhat, but they were frustrating to watch, there was no fight, they couldn’t get any shots on goal, and the balance was by no means redressed.

Into the second and there was a rash of penalties and a number of stick breakages. Somebody call the gear supplier. The Blaze needed to up the urgency, and you could see the desperation as there were a couple of swings and misses. Peter Hirsch looked in better form and made a couple of quality saves, including from a one on one with Jeff Legue, and this seemed to galvanise the Blaze. The game opened up and there was some real end to end stuff. In a reversal of the first period, Coventry looked dangerous on the breakaway, Guthrie missing a number of good chances, and the momentum slowly swung back in favour of the home side. Would they capitalise on their new-found attacking play? Er, no.

In another reversal of fortune (Anne Robinson would be all over this), Sheffield had a powerplay which was much stronger, resulting in a tidy pass from Tait to Ramsay, who buried the puck to make it 4-0, effectively killing the game off. Rob Farmer dropped the gloves and tried to goad Mark Thomas into a fight to rile his side but it wasn’t to be. Could it fire them up? Another ineffectual powerplay later and it seemed perhaps not. But wait: a couple more minutes passed and the hex was broken, Brian Jurynec scoring on the rebound from a Domish shot through John DeCaro’s five hole. It seemed this could this give them the momentum they needed to turn the tide: Bakrlik and Guthrie showed up and had shots saved shortly afterwards. Guthrie is brilliant on the puck but he needs to do some work on his finishing given tonight’s evidence. Then another chance from Rob Farmer, the Blaze spirits really lifted now and the excitement in the Skydome surging – this was more like it! Blaze went for it; there was no doubt they needed to score another goal to take the third period to the Steelers. And they got their chance as Ryan Finnerty was called for holding – a powerplay chance right before the break. Could they make it a two goal game? Er, no.

I took my chance in the second period break to pour more gin and marvel at Russ Cowley’s massive eyes and impossibly complex accent. Where IS he from?

It was a quiet start to the third period compared with the thrilling end to the 2nd; the wind seemed to have gone out of the Blaze sails, and they returned to frustratingly sloppy passing and turning over of pucks. You could almost hear the collective sigh as hoards of casual fans turned over. Hirsch pulled off a couple of decent saves and yet more powerplay opportunities for the home side went begging, and the Steelers, with three games in three nights, understandably took their foot off the gas, their top line resting, and players seemingly taking penalties just because they fancied a sit down. It was frustrating stuff and the time ebbed away. It was all over. On the night, the difference between the teams was sheer hard work, clinical finishing and a strong game in net from John DeCaro.

North of the border, Fife Flyers lost two of their key imports in a major ‘wheels falling off’ week, a mirror image of the Vipers last season, Danny Stewart must be experiencing déjà vu in a big way, the poor guy. But if their misfortunes follow the Vipers pattern they will pull off some surprising results and this was reflected against the Steelers in Kirkcaldy on Saturday night, where the Flyers made the visitors work for the two points despite being under-staffed.

Cardiff went to Nottingham for only the second time this season and played out of their skins despite missing key players Birbraer, Voth and Matzka, producing the game of the weekend thus far, pushing the Panthers on their home ice and beating them 4-2, the forward line of Stu Macrae, Phil Hill and Jeff Pierce turning up in force and causing all sorts of problems for the Panthers defence. Devils defenceman Chris Frank picked up a surely unbeatable 35 penalty minutes in some kind of violence hat-trick, having two fights, bleeding all over the ice and eventually being thrown out of the game for cross-checking from behind. Take a bow, sir. The return leg promises to be a full-blooded affair and that’s putting it mildly.

In the final two games of the day, Belfast and Braehead picked up home wins. The rest of my weekend round-up will follow shortly. Let’s hope tonight’s games give me plenty to write about. Otherwise I’ll talk more about gin and possibly beards. And nobody wants that.

The Nomad Speaks: Chapter 236 and a half. Ish.

Cross-posted from http://www.ukamericansportsfans.com/

I’m back. And I have to admit, I’m feeling a bit rusty. The lack of exposure to live hockey this season has left me withered and crusty, like a dried up piece of chewing gum stuck under a park bench, used up and forgotten about. God what rubbish I talk. Anyway, I had missed my hockey dearly: it was time to break my fast and a banquet was laid before me in the form of TWO live hockey matches in the fine city of Belfast, a glut that would surely fill me to the brim with wondrous hockey-related tales to impart to you, my poor deprived readers. I was expecting to go away plump and fully sated, content to wallow in the warm glow that my hockey travels would induce and ready to wait patiently for my next instalment.

DAY 1: Friday 11th November

Sadly, almost the exact opposite was to occur. Let’s start at the beginning. There was a plane journey, a bus ride through some truly biblical rain, and a quick pit-stop at our hotel base, before we were on our way to the Odyssey Arena for the first game in our double-headed Giants weekend, against Fife Flyers. I’ll get this out of the way right now: not only am I merely in my sophomore year as a hockey supporter, but I have seen but one live match this season, so despite viewing a selection of odd highlights on YouTube and a bevy of stats on the Elite League website, I feel I might as well be back to square one. I’m a hockey novice again. A nomadic one. A nov-mad. A person who should stop making up words. All that to say, my weekend was one of first impressions, whereas for everyone else, they will have seen their teams in action loads of times and will therefore potentially rubbish my opinions, and for that I wouldn’t blame them. But I’ll share my impressions anyway, because that’s what I do.

The game was a bit pants, really.

We weren’t expecting a great deal, in fairness. Belfast are a very strong side at home, and let’s face it, they’re top of the league. Under-funded and short of imports, and with Danny Stewart recently named club captain and Toms Hartmanis signed to lead the forward line, Fife have basically morphed into last season’s Vipers team, so I was undoubtedly feeling an amount of trepidation as to how they would fare against a notoriously tough Giants side. I’ll stop beating around the bush: we fully expected a rout. It became clear however that this was not what we were going to get. I’m not going to give a detailed match report but I will make a few comments.

I’d been really excited to see the new crop of Giants players in action but some of the key players were quiet for them against Fife, notably Adam Keefe who, although solid, didn’t put in a standout performance, aside from a lone incident which could have exploded into violence if it hadn’t been over before it started, Fife’s 29 mugged by the Giants tough guy, the player basically on the floor before Keefe could really get going. He just looked at the guy and he collapsed in a heap. Keefe’s that hard. Impressive for the Giants today were defenceman Jeff Mason and centre Darryl Lloyd, the latter being my favourite of the Belfast team, a feisty, speedy, blood-and-guts agitator who came out all guns blazing and laid down hits worthy of a guy twice his size. Following the controversy during the week following a questionable hit on former Viper Sam Zajac, Benoit Doucet, unpunished by the Elite League on review, bounced back to score a hattrick and looked one of Belfast’s strongest threats throughout the game.

The scoreline flatters to deceive – it was nowhere near as exciting as it sounds on paper; the home side, although not massively threatened by Fife, did not take the game by the short and curlies and the three goal difference belies the reality of a game in which neither side was overly dominant. At one point in the third period, Fife were on the powerplay and Toms Hartmanis had a fantastic one-on-one shooting opportunity which he just missed. Had he scored, he would have brought the scoreline to within one goal and the game could have genuinely have been turned on its head. As it was, Fife were stubborn but ineffectual in front of goal, the Danny Stewart fighting spirit certainly on show but the lack of strength in depth clear for all to see. And despite the lack of actual fights, the game itself was chippy, with both teams taking numerous penalties, and it threatened to blow up as the final buzzer sounded, the ensuing multi-player handbag-dropping session more exciting than pretty much the entire game.

So what of the former Vipers? As if to make us feel at home, Danny Stewart for some reason took up a spot in defence, and spent a large portion of the game on the ice, along with Toms Hartmanis who displayed the same level of skill and class he did at Whitley Bay last season. Us Viper fans in the audience were greeted with confusion and disdain in equal parts by the Giants faithful, who were presumably thrown by our jerseys in a sort of ‘is it in fact 2010’ déjà vu moment. It felt like something between being an alien species and invisible, which suited us fine, as we mingled with the locals and joined in with the songs, dance routines and general good humour, and what little went on on the ice was much less dramatic than the terrible discovery during the second period break that the entire building seemed to have run out of cider. (Never fear, I found a pint eventually at the last bar I visited – the relief was palpable all around the arena).

ULSTER FRY: I didn’t take any hockey photos because, well, I just didn’t. I wasn't feeling inspired. I have posted this instead which I could use as some kind of hockey metaphor, something to do with breaking eggs, being full of beans... It might get a bit suspect when referring to the relative lack of meat or the size of the sausage though. So I think I’ll just leave it.

DAY 2: Saturday 12th November

By the time game number two came around I was ready for some serious action. And by this, I mean I was literally chomping at the bit. I was so pumped I reckon I could have put in a couple of decent shifts on the ice myself. (Let’s all relish THAT image for a moment, shall we. OK, I’m going to move on now and never speak of such a thing again). Tonight’s opponents were the Cardiff Devils who were expected to be a tougher test for the home side; a decent contest was expected by all. However, as I’m starting to learn that it’s okay not to mince my words and I don’t have to please all of the people, all of the time, I’m going to be brutally honest.

The game was a bit pants, really.

I mean, it was a marginal improvement on yesterday. But it was still missing some major amounts of spark. The Devils were sloppy, giving up penalties haphazardly in the first two periods, but the Giants just couldn’t make the powerplay work for them. Cardiff’s penalty kill team along with a confident Stevie Lyle in goal reigned supreme, and a correctly disallowed goal in the first period took the wind out of Belfast’s sails somewhat. At the other end, Murphy was strong in the Giants goal, and Cardiff had very few shots on either, however the difference between the sides was accuracy, two coolly taken goals to the Giants’ single successful strike going on to be the final score.

I hate to sound bloodthirsty but honestly, what was missing in the game was some good old-time hockey violence. It hung in the air like an unspoken threat, riling the crowd (it wasn’t just me, I swears it), but was never acted upon, tough guys choosing to take a back seat and leaving us frustrated and without resolution, and me yet to see the infamous Keefe doing what he arguably does best, although I would have taken anything at that point; Brad Voth having a heated altercation with a goalpost would have done. Both teams are notoriously physical however I would have to say that our first view of the Braehead Clan some weeks ago left them looking comparatively like far more of a physical threat than either team on this particular night; interesting then that the Glasgow side went on to beat Cardiff in their own rink the following night.

So what of the rest of the action? A few minutes into the third period the game finally picked up, players seemingly realising they were supposed to try and win, Lloyd and Kuiper in particular laying on some big hits for the Giants and lifting their teammates’ spirits. The final two minutes were all Giants, as they frantically tried to level the scoreline and take the game to overtime, but it was not to be and they were left to suffer their third home defeat of the season.

Don’t get me wrong: the edge was in no way taken off my overall Belfast experience by the lack of quality hockey on offer. The Ulster fry was excellent, the company top notch, the dancing cheesy and the weather even able to put in a decent showing after the initial torrents of rain. Sadly, visiting hockey celebrity Simmsey never put in an appearance in Rockies, but the men in black and white stripes, who also put in a good performance on the ice, were on hand to provide drinks.

Okay so I haven’t written much about hockey, but I haven’t written much about facial hair either, remarkable given that we are in the throes of Movember and I had a collection of 50-odd new hockey player faces to inspect over the course of the two days. Rather than dulling my enthusiasm, the lacklustre matches – although failing to provide any real inspiration for my post – have served as a reminder of what I am missing, and that in turn has sparked a desire to put in more of an effort to follow the league once again. I miss hockey more now than ever before. The connection may be missing, and that’s a bitch, for sure, but the passion is still there. I just have to find a way to channel it. And my unhealthy and (worryingly) sharply increasing desire for violence is probably not the healthiest expression of it. Suggestions?

Till next time folks. Don’t forget about me! Tell me things about hockey! And to the Elite League clubs – for the love of God, film some highlights, PLEASE?! How hard can it be? Ta very much!

What's goin' on 'ere then?

Oh hi, hockeylings! How are you? Fighting fit? I do hope so. Apologies for going MIA, I hope you didn’t suffer too much separation anxiety and you’ve managed to successfully navigate the opening weeks of the new Elite League season without me. I feel hopelessly out of touch having returned from a long holiday and will be spending a large portion of time watching highlights videos and reading gamecards in order to get up to speed with the goings on so far. It's going to be like a combination of repentance and unashamed geekery I’ve concluded the following so far, based on my ferretings around the interweb:

- Sheffield aren’t quite as good as normal
- Hull are better than normal
- Belfast are good but could be better
- Nottingham are better than expected much to everyone’s irritation. Sexy Neilson Hockey has not yet made an appearance
- Cardiff aren’t going to have a great season
- Brad Voth is still worthy of people going without shoes
- Edinburgh are sadly going to pick up where they left off
- Fife are going to be the plucky underdogs
- Coventry are going to be good
- Dundee have been quiet but could spring a few surprises
- Braehead haven’t started yet
- Lots of people have gotten themselves injured already
- There are two people called Brock Mc-something in the Elite Ice Hockey League
- This both amuses and confuses me

Erm, I don’t like to blow my own trumpet or anything (parp), but other than the first two points where I was a bit wide of the mark, I believe I predicted all of the above in my season previews!! GO ME! Okay so it wasn’t that hard bearing in mind most of those are vague statements and there’s a long way to go, but still. Yeah so I just articulated what most people were thinking, so what. I need to feel useful, or clever or something! I don’t have my own team to be clever about anymore!

While I'm thinking of my old team, there are two key clubs to watch if, like me, you’re still reminiscing about last season’s glorious highlights through Viper-tinted spectacles. First is Amiens in the French Ligue Magnus who have added Kyle Sibley and Jaroslaw Rzeszutko to their ranks, along with Nottingham Panthers’ Angel Nikolov. Second, and my tip for ‘random place to run away to when you're feeling a bit stalk-y’ are the Missouri Mavericks. They have not one, not two, but THREE Vipers from the 2010/11 season, Charlie Effinger, Toms Hartmanis and Dale Mahovsky (splitter), and definitely have me plotting my escape from the country, not that I fancy Missouri much as a place to live. It’s a bit dull. I’m sure they’ll have a rubbish time, in comparison with the delights of Whitley Bay. I'm not jealous, really.

As for the remaining members of last season’s Vipers team, a few of the Brits have made the long journey south to the Isle of Wight, Coach Danny has launched into his career with Fife Flyers with a vengeance, throwing down the gloves once already with Panther’s Steve Lee. John Schwarz, mysteriously, has quit hockey entirely, presumably to concentrate his efforts on advanced beard-growing. And speaking of beards it appears that Mike Prpich has been abducted by his, as he hasn’t been seen since April. And our very own Sammy Zajac will make his debut this Saturday night for Braehead. And I shall be in attendance, making my Elite League debut, on the very same night.

Based on a combination of factors as follows, in no particular order, I have developed a soft spot for Braehead:

(1) Location/cost; I love Glasgow as a city and it’s not too far on the train.
(2) Craic.
(3) Purpleness of jersey.
(4) By pure chance home games don’t begin until this weekend due to an ironic twist of fate involving one of my other beloved sports, tennis. This pleases me as it means I haven’t missed anything.
(5) They made up the other 50% of my first ever Elite League hockey experience.
(6) They, like me, are only a year old in hockey terms.
(7) They’ve got our Sammy. They’d better look after him!

So I’ve decided that they will be the lucky recipients of the vast proportion of my affections this season. It’s okay, Clan fans. I understand how thrilled you must be to have me on board and I’ll give you a moment to come to terms with the sheer awesomeness of the honour I am to bestow upon your club. In time you will come to get used to the inordinate levels of rambling I shower on the object of my affection.

I jest of course. It’s not going to be a bed of roses for either of us. Okay it won’t be easy at first. We’ll have to get used to each other. Like a new pair of shoes, the fit may not be perfect, or instant, but I hope we’ll take to one another and perhaps I can earn your affections. I’ll say this. It’s not going to be easy for me either. I want to commit to a new team (see my previous post in which I rant like a loon about needing to support SOMEBODY), but it doesn’t take away the uncomfortable, squirmy feeling I get when I think about wearing another team’s colours, or chanting another team’s name. It’s like some weird communal version of infidelity.

Those of you who have read me before will know that I’m prone to the odd over-dramatic extended metaphor. Those of you who haven’t are in for a bit of a surprise. Try reading my post 'Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today…’ (Jan 2011) if you want to know what I mean. But, I'm not exaggerating when I say I’m, like, a hockey widow! It's true! My first love (the Vipers) has died, so now I'm all alone and I need some company in this big wide world, y'know? Braehead, like, basically you're my new boyfriend. Um, yeah. Wow. This post is sliding swiftly downhill and I’m going to put a stop to it right now!

See you tomorrow Braehead fans! Please don't run away, I promise I'm not THAT weird! Everyone else, I shall post my thoughts on the weekend’s action around the league at some point next week – brace yourselves! It will be full of the stunning insight that watching only one hockey match so far this season can bestow!

Season Preview: Part 2

I bring you the conclusion to my team-by-team preview of the EIHL season ahead.

EDINBURGH CAPITALS

It’s been a fairly quiet summer for last season’s bottom-placed side. Signings have been few and far between, new imports have included some European talent – for the most part Slovakian, the most recognisable name one Sladok of the Hull Stingrays. Early on it seemed likely that the Caps would struggle again this season both on and off the ice, as their lack of finances prevented them from investing in the quality they need to launch a convincing bid for one of the league’s eight play-off spots. I’m sure I echo the sentiments of the vast majority when I say I really hope the season they put together can be more successful than their last and that they find themselves able to compete at a decent level. The big boys will certainly show no mercy.

One to watch: The recent acquisition of forward Richard Hartmann could be key for the Caps, the Slovakian has a good scoring record and years of experience in Slovakia which should be beneficial given the make-up of the current squad.
Predicted finish: Unfortunately I can’t foresee anything but a repeat of last season. 10th.
Fun fact: The Caps have this year signed what sounds a lot like a Slovakian comedy duo in Holecko and Valecko. This amuses me in a Slovakian sort of way. Slovakia.

FIFE FLYERS

It’s going to be hard not to like Fife. New to the league this season, the Kirkcaldy club are the oldest ice hockey club in the UK and have a great history, but the step up is going to be a tough one and the boys are really going to have their work cut out for them. Rumours have been rife of a lack of funds that may lead to them falling short of their full quota of imports, but evidence of this has not been forthcoming and although late to the party in terms of signings, Fife are catching up slowly as Todd Dutiaume attempts to construct a side capable of competing at this higher level. Everyone will be keen for the club to do well and looking out for early results as they find their feet, so here’s hoping the Fifelians (yes, yes, I did just make that up) are ready for what’s coming at them.

One to watch: Without the reigns of coach-dom holding him back, Danny Stewart will be able to unleash the player within, which believe it or not is actually a forward (Vipers fans were far more used to seeing the poor guy covering in defence). Check out his mad slapshot skills. GO COACH!!
Predicted finish: They will battle hard enough to avoid being the bottom of the pile: 9th.
Fun fact: Fife's inclusion in the Elite League is a triumph for Egnlish teachers nationwide as they become the only team to feature both alliteration AND assonance in their name! Shame about the lack of onomatopoeia to complete the trifecta of 'words I put in my GCSE Literature paper to score extra marks' but these things can't be helped.

HULL STINGRAYS

Hull have used their quota of imports to bring in a number of European players this season, along with re-signing some of their key players from the 2010/11 season including top scorer Jereme Tendler, netminder Christian Boucher and right wing Jason Silverthorn. They continue with Sylvain Cloutier at the helm as they look to consolidate on what was an unremarkable but in some ways unexpected 2010/11 season, their campaign having at one point been an impossibility as the club languished without an owner and looked set to be excluded from the League. Also added to the squad is a face well-known to British hockey fans in Derek Campbell, who completed a surprise switch from Sheffield, and long-term target Josh Mizerek.

One to watch: Josh Mizerek was set to take the captain’s armband at Hull last season before the club folded so he has plenty to prove and brings a wealth of experience along with him.
Predicted finish: Hull have added experience and physical presence to their side, but I’m not sure they will have the edge required to hit the top half of the league. 8th.
Fun fact: Stingrays are undoubtedly mean. The late great Steve Irwin can attest to that. But I think the dude on their logo looks quite beguiling, he's all smiley like. A lot like this guy:

'Mean? Who, me?' Okay I admit it. I've got nothing.

NOTTINGHAM PANTHERS

The play-off winners made their statement early on in the off-season, re-signing a number of key players from their 10/11 campaign, including highly rated netminder Craig Kowalski, and adding the services of Belfast’s Brandon Benedict and excellently named forward Scott Champagne. The East Midlands side features a sizeable chunk of the silver-medal winning GB squad and it cannot be argued that they boast the finest compliment of Brits of any Elite League side. They completed their line-up with tough guy blueliner Brock Wilson who has racked up a great deal of ECHL experience over the past few seasons and will add to the Panthers’ physical presence, already guaranteed by the re-signing of enforcer Guy Lepine.

However despite the stability that comes with keeping key elements of a team together, it can’t be denied they’ve lost two of their stars of last season in Billy Ryan and Jade Galbraith, and an immense amount of firepower with it. Will Benedict be able to step up to the plate in a way he couldn’t manage in Belfast last season? Perhaps, but regardless of this I feel that despite a strong and steady core the Panthers may lack flair this season and that combined with coach Corey Neilson’s notorious tactics will be their downfall.

One to watch: Danny Meyers. The Captain is always influential both on the blueline and for the team as a whole. Plus he wins at beards.
Predicted finish: 3rd
Fun fact: The Panthers’ 2010/11 season highlights DVD was entitled ‘Now that’s what I call Sexy Neilson Hockey’*. Further volumes of these ‘best of’ DVDs are expected on a bi-annual basis. Because Neilson Hockey is too sexy to fit on just one DVD.

*it wasn’t. But it should have been.

SHEFFIELD STEELERS

The Steelers are always a force to be reckoned with in the top tier of British hockey and more often than not turn out an assured, experienced team who are rarely out of the upper echelons of the league table. Last season’s Steelers team were undoubtedly strong, consistent and dominant but they lacked a certain je ne sais quoi. With Ryan Finnerty back at the club and taking the reins, I feel this will be put to rights this season. In his first season coaching Finner will be keen to make an impression and I believe he will mould his squad in his own image. His never-say-die attitude combined with a collection of quality import signings and a core of strong, committed Brits should inject the fizz and sparkle that was missing from their performances last season, and I am looking forward to seeing what they can produce on the ice. They will push hard to retain their league title and I think it will go down to the wire. Their biggest loss from the 2010/11 title-winning team was arguably rock-solid netminder Ervins Mustokovs, but in John DeCaro they have signed what on paper looks to be a worthy replacement.

One to watch: Colt King – one of the strongest import signings of any club this season, King’s extensive experience is going to lead to high expectation from Steelers fans. He’s not afraid of a fight either which will be handy following the loss of Derek Campbell.
Predicted finish: Sorry Simmsey – I think they’ll be pipped at the post by the Giants – 2nd.
Fun fact: If Dundee have the most amusingly named player, Steelers have undoubtedly the coolest named player in the league this year. Colt King. The man, the legend, the sawn-off shotgun?

...

So there's nothing more to say. I'm spent! And it's still only August! The season openers edge ever closer, only just over two weeks away now; I will shortly be heading out of the country on a fact-finding mission to North America (read: three week beer and sun-worshipping tour of South-West USA) and when I return the season will be in full swing. I'm practically salivating. Are you?

I’m too old for all this – a review of the Elite League Play-off Weekend

And so it all came down to this: one weekend, four teams, a shedload of hockey fans and one hockey novice, about to get her stripes. Please forgive the lack of clarity in this blog post; a couple of weeks back, I was informed by a rather wise friend of mine that I would take my first experience of play-off weekend to the grave. I had been looking forward to it for a while but I didn’t fathom quite how good it would be, and quite how right said wise person was. This is the story of how it all went down, from start to finish – if it goes even a quarter of the way to summing up what an amazing weekend it was, then I’ll have done my job.

It began on Friday night with a visit to a few of Nottingham’s fine drinking establishments (funnily enough, where the majority of the weekend was located) with the strong contingent of Vipers fans who had made the journey south. Spirits were high and fans mingled, old friends and new from all ten of the Elite League clubs preparing for a weekend of hockey-based goodness. Vipers fans were given an extra boost when news reached the Bunkers Hill Inn that Danny Stewart had won the Coach of the Year award at the Elite League awards dinner across the city. We all went nuts. I can’t think of anyone more deserving of an award and it’s testament to the extraordinary hard work that he and all of our amazing team put in all season. I’ll save it for another blog post, but it’s funny how quickly you can fall in love with something, and I was truly proud to say I was a Viper at play-offs, despite everything that went down this season. It felt like a badge of honour to be associated with such an amazing club and group of players, staff and fans. But I digress…

So THAT’S what hockey’s supposed to look like

Saturday morning saw another first for me, as I braved a trip inside a bookies for the first time ever, to put money on the two teams I believed would make it to the final. I was quite proud of myself, and quietly confident I had backed the winning horses. Then it was time to get down to business. Hockey fans from across the UK took their seats in the National Ice Centre/Capital FM Arena/whatever it's called, and the excitement built on all sides as whether or not their teams were involved, all the groups of fans were ready to have a good time. It was quite something to see so many fans from different teams side by side in an arena, and reminded me again what an excellent sport ice hockey is. The whole experience was quite over-whelming and had the Vipers by some miracle made it to that stage of the competition I think I would have been a bit of a mess around that point.

The first semi-final was between Nottingham Panthers and Sheffield Steelers, the much-vaunted local rivalry about to be put to the test. It was generally agreed in discussion with other fans that the second semi-final was likely to be the better of the two, however we were forced to eat our words very quickly. The first period kicked off in style. It was fast-paced and unforgiving; Sheffield scored two early goals but the Panthers were in no mood to roll over and they dug deep, hitting the Steelers hard. Rob Bellamy amongst others had a great first period, and both teams landed some of the hardest hits I’ve seen in the Elite League all season. It was a very tasty match-up and the Panthers hit back in style with some fantastic attacking hockey (they base themselves on the Detroit Redwings don’t you know) and they pulled back two swift equalising goals.

The game was chippy and threatened to boil over but a solid refereeing performance from Mike Hicks ensured that proceedings remained tough but clean. One of the season’s remaining mysteries was also cleared up for me as the announcer provided a full and frank explanation of how to pronounce the surname of Panthers forward Daniel Tkaczuk (you know I just had to check the EIHL website three times to get the spelling right there and I’m still not sure about it!). Apparently you just sneeze. Good to know. If you haven’t got a cold at the time, just call him Dan. The announcer caused quite a few raised eyebrows over the weekend for misheard calls and later on in the game I'm quite certain that Derek Campbell received a two minute penalty for cooking.

Bless you!

Things simmered down in the second period as both teams were a little more cagey, neither wanting to make a mistake and both netminders staying solid. It lacked the intensity of the first period as perhaps players as well as fans started to feel the effects of the night before. The fans of the two teams involved were surprisingly quiet, adrenaline finally giving way to nerves, but the Cardiff Devils fans more than made up for them with some exceptional renditions of Delilah and Don’t Stop Me Now, which were enjoyed by all present. Vinnie the Viper also turned up to rapturous applause.

Throughout the game the Panthers seemed to be suffering from a potent strain of a disease well-known to Vipers fans this season of ‘forgetting we’re on the powerplay-itis’ and they failed to capitalise on some golden opportunities, but the Steelers weren’t much better and we moved into the third with the game in danger of fizzling out and once again failing to live up to the potential that a so-called local derby should provide. However there was more drama in store as Panthers gave away a penalty shot which Steelers player coach Ben Simon proceeded to miss. There was also a moment of light relief from Panthers' 45 Stephen Lee as he attempted a hip check on a Steeler only to miss entirely, bash the boards with his bottom and almost fall over. Comedy gold. The game picked up tempo again thankfully, and Jeff Heerema scored a breathtaking goal seemingly out of nowhere to pile the pressure back onto the League title holders. They were unfazed however and the equaliser came almost immediately from the stick of Ben Simon, making up for his earlier miss and bringing us back to stalemate.

It seemed almost inevitable at that point that the game would go into overtime and that it did. All eyes were once again on two of the most talked about netminders of the season, Craig ‘K-Wall’ Kowalski and Ervins ‘Moose’ Mustokovs. Perhaps this tie would be decided by at outstanding display of goalkeeping. But it was not to be. Instead, despite an incredible season, a rare mistake from Mustokovs was what eventually split the teams, the pressure finally causing his demise, promising British youngster Rob Lachowicz firing home to finish the tie less than two minutes into overtime. The Panthers went crazy. The Steelers would have to be content with the small matter of the League title.

Oh, and in case you were wondering – that was my bet scratched, already.

Selling the Vipers, and Belfast’s demise

Following the match we visited The Castle pub, which was home between matches for the weekend and discussion turned to the Vipers’ future, yet more uncertainty surrounding our beloved club thanks to a controversial article in one of the local papers in which former owner Paddy O’Connor claimed still to be in charge of the club. After a healthy debate we decided to take matters into our own hands and approached Sheffield and Cardiff owner Paul Ragan to make him an offer he couldn’t refuse. Kev would buy him a pint, if he bought the Vipers. It seemed like a fair compromise all round and we were seconds away from inking the deal when we realised it was time to make tracks for the second semi-final, but watch this space. The man’s clearly got his head screwed on, and who wouldn’t be swayed by the offer of a chilled beverage in exchange for ownership of clearly the most passionate club in the country.

Everyone was psyched for the second semi-final as it featured possibly the two most exciting teams of the season and promised to be a fantastic match-up. It seemed to be universally agreed that whoever won this game, would be carrying the support of all but the Panthers fans in Sunday’s final. I was torn over who to support on the night; I felt that the Devils deserved something from their storming season, but I have a soft spot for the Giants after my trip to Belfast. The Devils drew first blood however; a shocking defensive error from one of the Giants D-men (whose identity escapes me) as he back-passed across the face of goal allowing Tylor Michel to put the Devils on the scoresheet, and this proceeded to light a fire under Cardiff’s collective behind. They quickly went on and scored a second goal, short-handed, and it looked ominous for the Giants who just hadn’t turned up at all. It seemed as though it could be a rout as Devils launched wave after wave of attack, whilst their netminder Stevie Lyle was a rock at the crease, stopping everything Belfast threw at him. They were flying and Belfast were clueless as to how to get around them, despite deploying Mike Hoffman as a forward at one point, or so it seemed, the strategy nearly working as it was about the only time when Belfast seemed to wake up. For all the talent in their line-up something just didn’t click for them on Saturday and it is hard to pick out any particular offenders although Josh Prudden had a bit of a nightmare, and not one forward line packed any punch. They had no end product, despite having 5 on 3 on more than one occasion, although it may be testament to the Devils’ effective penalty kill. There was no shortage of star men for the Devils but Captain Ryan Finnerty just stood out above the rest; he comes across as a real heart-on-sleeve kind of player, and he never stopped working for a moment. Craig Weller also showed his class on the day.

A picture paints a thousand words. One of them is 'steady'.

Cardiff did not take Belfast apart in quite the way many expected after their dominance in the first period, but they were always in control and Belfast never really threatened to come back into it. The game sadly did not live up to expectations, but confidence was high for the final as it was to be fought out between the two teams who had provided the most entertainment during the weekend thusfar.

The Final Countdown, and The Aftermath

The final day began with an under-19 international between England and Scotland. The number of empty seats spoke of the celebrations that had gone before and we made the most of the space by moving next to centre ice for a fantastic view of the action. There was interest in the Panthers section of the crowd as various Panthers players passed in and out of the rink, waving and signing autographs like the minor celebrities they clearly are in the Nottingham area. The game itself started out slowly but England were always on top. Support was muted despite a spirited effort from the rambunctious Braehead Clan fans who made their presence felt all weekend. Local interest for Vipers fans centred on Callum Davies, the Northern Stars forward who iced for our team a number of times towards the end of the season and put in a sterling effort. His Stars and Vipers team-mate, Elite League Defenceman Dan Pye (DAN PYE!) was present to support his colleague and took a fair amount of good-natured abuse from certain members of the Vipers crew throughout the weekend, but he took it all in his stride, so good on him.

Once England started scoring there was no stopping them, and they finally racked up double figures just before the game drew to a close. It had been an entertaining contest with some good episodes of play from England, some great shows of talent from a few individual players and a good dose of conflict also.

And so we had a few hours to kill before the final game of the season would be upon us, and the atmosphere was building in and around the rink and its surrounding drinking establishments. I’d love to give you a blow-by-blow account of the final but I’ll be honest, everything was a bit of a blur by then. The atmosphere was great – being right next to the Devils’ block we really felt like part of the action, although it has to be said it felt very, very wrong chanting another team’s name, so I reverted to clapping only, but I was with the Devils all the way. The presence of the Sky TV cameras was felt and not in a good way, as the so-called ‘prompt’ 4:00pm face-off was delayed by around 20 minutes, presumably in order for them to lever in a good selection of ad breaks, leaving the players standing around waiting and the hapless rink announcer struggling to fill the time. Sky: selfless dedication to ramming themselves firmly up the rear end of otherwise perfectly successful sporting events and jumping up and down shouting ‘look at us’ for the last twenty-odd years. Thank you VERY much. Just so long as you can shoehorn in one last round of Go Compare, eh, chaps.

The final featured high quality hockey from the outset and had no shortage of thrills and spills. A monumental hit on Angel Nikolov by Brad Voth was wrongly called for interference and is one that demands to be watched again on the replay. Voth himself was subject of one of a number of play-off rumours that floated about across the weekend as the gossip train did the rounds of the hockey pubs. Apparently after six great years with Cardiff he will shortly be on his way back home to hang up his skates and become a farmer. I must stress however that that rumour is as yet unconfirmed. Although I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the image of him in a straw hat, leaning on a fork chewing a piece of hay and patting a nice firm cow on the buttocks. Ah, Bradley.

Cardiff took control of the game early on as they had against Belfast, striking twice in the first period with a single goal from Beauregard coming in reply for the Panthers. But the Challenge Cup holders did not let Cardiff build up too much of a head of steam and they sneaked back into the game, ending the second period trailing by just one goal. It came down to the final period to decide who would lift the trophy and once again it was up to the two netminders, but in a cruel twist of fate after his heroics in the semi-final, Stevie Lyle was found wanting, as K-Wall came into his own, shutting out the Devils for the full final period, and in turn allowing his team to go on and score two goals, one of which was caused by an error from Lyle, in order to take the lead. Despite the Devils’ best efforts, they were thwarted in every respect, Scott Matzka receiving a game misconduct as he lost the plot with just over two minutes to go, and Devils' talisman and player of the weekend for me, Ryan Finnerty, being sent to the bench for the final minute of the match. It was the final straw and took the wind right out of the Cardiff's sails, and the Panthers were able to stand firm and power through to take the trophy.

Danny Meyers: Winning at Playoff Beards

It was a disappointing result for many of the fans in the arena with no love lost for the big-spending Panthers and their annoyingly successful departure from Sexy Neilson Hockey, but they deserved their celebrations on the day and as Danny Meyers lifted the trophy for the victors, having been one of the three key men for his team in the match (after Kowalski and Beauregard) and also lifting the Parles Cup for most impressive play-off beard in a weekend that had so far sadly lacked in general beard-age (Mike Prpich would SO have shown this lot of part-timers what was what), we filed out and back to the pub to dissect the game that was, and to engage in a number of raucous activities in no small part sponsored by fermented apple products. I couldn’t possibly go into detail about the events of that night (mainly as I can’t remember most of them) but highlights include a late-night press conference, dropped pints, switching of team allegiances, Sambuca, much love from all the clubs to the Vipers and back, and countless rounds of highly amusing and at times mildly offensive chanting with the hockey fans of the UK, all of whom came together to enjoy one final night of banter and good times to say goodbye to the season that had been.

And so on Monday morning we said goodbye to Nottingham with heavy hearts, eyelids and suitcases and made our way home, uncertain in the knowledge of what the future may hold for our club or for British Ice Hockey in general. The hardcore among us made our way to the pub for a final drink or three before staggering home to reacquaint ourselves with our own beds, and early nights. This hockey season has been one hell of an incredible journey and I can safely say that I am not the same person at the end of it as the one I was at the beginning. I started the post with a quote from one wise friend and I’ll end it with one from another: ‘hockey is the best and worst thing that will ever happen to you’, and that is something that I can completely relate to now. It's taken over my life, trashing its way through my heart, soul, mental health and bank account, but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. All I can say with any certainty is that whatever happens, I will be first at the bar at next year’s play-offs. See you all there, and hopefully many times in between.

Only playoff weekend could end with a head on a tray. Goodnight everybody!

Game photos courtesy of Paul Lynch Photography

Head on a Tray photo courtesy of Kevin Pope

Newcastle Vipers 2010/11: A Season in Review (or more accurately, a woman in disarray)

Some things have come to light over the last few days that have made me realise that in about 5 days’ time, I am going to be in serious trouble. What do we know about me already? That I’m a shameless beard-obsessed stalker with a southern accent, a penchant for large defencemen and fermented apple drinks, and a tendency to ramble on nonsensically. We also know from experience that I have numerous dependency issues, and these are what concern me. I have just experienced my first weekend in quite a significant length of time W.O.H.: With. Out. Hockey. And I didn’t like it. It was weird. And wrong. I sat around the house like a petulant teenager declaring everything to be 'boring'. Thankfully this weekend I have play-offs to look forward to but after that… what? The approaching void of the summer is looming large and I need to figure out something to fill it with, and fast. Here are the ideas I have come up with so far:

- Take up tennis/martial arts/marathon running/competitive cookie-baking (let's just re-cap on those thoughts - acceptable/dangerous/foolish/winning).

- Reverse hibernation. Wake me up in September? (A good idea in theory, but conversely I really like the sun)

- Actually learn to skate. (Being at Whitley Bay all the time probably wouldn’t be great for my mental health however).

- Do something mind-expanding. Like reading a… what are those paper things called with all the words in again? One of them, anyway.

- Take up amateur dramatics. I could so tread the boards, darling. Or I could express myself through the medium of contemporary dance. Or mime. Oh dear lord, anything but mime.

- Start gambling obsessively. (My dependent nature would really lend itself to this one! Any tips?)

Yes. As you can see, I haven’t gotten particularly far. But honestly, if I don’t find something of substance to occupy my mind, things could get messy in the cranial department. And that will probably result in me running away to Canada. Actually, there are no drawbacks to that plan. For now, at least, I will continue to indulge myself. Far from being ready to let go of the season that was, I have scraped together some final thoughts and ramblings of mine on the players, the season and the Vipers in general to finish on what I hope will be a slightly cheerier, if not more erratic, note than last week. Then I will let them go gracefully. And come back to you next week with news of Devils, Giants, Steelers and Panthers. Yes, it’s going to be an epic weekend in Nottingham. I can see the headlines now as I go MIA. ‘Katy Parles, Champion Beard Hunter! Last seen rampaging through the National Ice Centre screeching about play-off beards.’ Honestly, it was hard enough to cope with successfully blogging the comings and goings of ONE beard (enigmatic as said beard was). But play-offs actually have beards named after them! And ALL the players grow them. I’m going to have some kind of cardiac episode, I’m quite certain of it.

So what about this season then? Turbulent is probably an apt word. In fact, it had more ups and downs than a spritely gymnast after a crate-full of Red Bull, on a pogo stick, on a trampoline. Here is my summary of the season, in less than 300 words. It features some of my personal highlights and memories, and I hope it will remind you of some of yours.

The beginnings – feeling like an infant, instantly falling in love, the hyperactive fly effect… Chewiiiie… learning the offside rule again… skating face first… Dale Mahovsky’s teeth… Scott Langdon – ‘chippy’… Sammy taking on Brad Voth (Behemoth)… Drive for Five… Alex Penner being psychotic… my first ever hockey jersey… third period collapses… bench clearance in Coventry… the turning point – Danny’s Dozen beating Coventry at home… CHARLIE! CHARLIE CHARLIE!... cheating on football with ice hockey… double figures over Dundee… financial peril – and lots of it… stupid superstitions… ice hockey community spirit... the mass exodus in December - of players AND hair… the relief of finding out we would last the season… that win in Belfast… TWO wins over Nottingham – now that’s what I call Sexy Neilson Hockey… THAT goal by John Schwarz… Mike Prpich’s beard… and the continuing hunt for it… Danny’s slapshot… Ninja Rzeszutko… Hartmanis’ speed… wanting to mother hockey players… not enough D men… innuendos in the corporate lounge… Sammy's gonna get ya… learning Geordie... Dean Holland – the People’s Choice… Dan Pye massive, learning to shout at match officials… HAVING to shout at them – a lot… learning just about everything else I know about ice hockey (thanks Kev!)… making some great friends, the cider, the laughs, the dancing, the gossip, the nonsense, the chants… ‘howaaaay’… the Effinger Pounce… discovering Rockies bar... Big Friendly Giants... Whitley Bay love... tears and cheers... Dundee being smelly... saying goodbye in style – We’ll Meet Again

To add to his ever-growing list of skills (which mainly features various outstanding hair-sprouting abilities), Mike Prpich can add the ability to grow a Dundee Stars player from his back. Impressive stuff.

I told you this was going to be erratic.

Bearing in mind how lost I was after the departure of Dale Mahovsky, I am concerned about my emotional well-being now, as I’ve become so fond of all of our players, it’s like losing him 10 times over. Except worse, as I’ve had an extra three months to become attached to them. Each and every one of those players is dear to me and will always have a special place in my heart. Aww. Group hug.

Even though they are all destined to go their separate ways in the coming weeks, and I have to resist the overwhelming urge to sort of round them up and put them in a pen, like a collection of wayward sheep, I will graciously let them run free in the world, but not before first spending some time remembering these wonderful individuals who made our season what it was. I’ll start with those who didn’t complete the season, before moving onto thank the stalwarts (really, is ice hockey so fleeting and ephemeral that sticking around in one place for seven months classes as a long-term commitment? That’s a whinge for another blog post. Anyway, on with the show…)

One of my favourite photos of the season. So worrying, I do not have a single amusing caption to go with it. But please note, there are three hockey players in this photo. Two of them are Vipers. Can you spot them?

To the dearly departed…

Rob Wilson – like ships in the night, our paths never crossed. Please insert relevant comment here: _____________________________________

Blair Stayzer – tall, dark, tanned and lazy, he was ice hockey’s equivalent of David Dickinson, playing ice hockey.

Scott Langdon – sing along: 'he’s big, he’s hard, he left us short in defence to go back to North America which was a bit rubbish but never mind…'? Work with me here, people.

Dan Speer – showed signs of life at times but didn't seem to gel. It’s fine Dan, we get it. Not everyone appreciates the beauty of a good stottie or a fine ice facility such as Whitley Bay.

Nathan Salem – did not play much of a role before heading off to play for the Northern Stars.

Nick Duff – like a ghost at a sceptic seance, he never appeared.

Jamie Carroll – good dude. Couldn’t shake the feeling that at any moment he might stop skating, throw down his helmet and bust out a version of ‘The Real Slim Shady’, though.

Dale Mahovsky – the dirty, dirty splitter (it’s fine. I’m SO over him. I didn’t nearly go on strike when they gave the number 91 jersey to someone else or anything. Nope).

Patrik Forsbacka – sneaked out the back door like the big Finnish wookie-alike sneaker that he is. I shake my fist at him. And then run away.

And to those who stayed ‘til the bitter end…

Charlie Effinger – what can I say about Charlie other than CHARLIE! CHARLIE! CHARLIE! Most improved player, netminder extraordinaire and the heart and soul of the team.

Liam McAllister – a worthy back-up to Charlie and a cheeky chappy to boot. Guy likes to eat a lot of sandwiches.

Kyle Sibley – teeny, tiny, super-speedy, likes to attack from defence. He’s the Ashley Cole of the Vipers. Except not a massive idiot.

John Schwarz – had an interesting season which started out fairly anonymously, had a bit of injury in the middle and then he became an immense paragon of awesomeness. Goal against Panthers was the highlight of the season. Then he got injured (again). And morphed into a younger version of Fabio Capello.

Sammy Zajac – heart of a lion in the body of a ferret. Or something along those lines. No-one worked harder. Or fought more people over three times their size. Dude.

Danny Stewart – played almost a full season out of position and had some hairy (ish!) moments as a result, but more than made up for it with his tenacity, never-say-die attitude and coaching awesomeness.

Mike Prpich – together we embarked on a journey of beard-worship that transcended space and time. But it appears that after starting in a blaze of bearded glory, he has chosen to end the season without the blessed thing. It was last seen swiftly exiting the building wearing a disguise. Come to think of it, what would a beard wear as a disguise, do you think? A face?! Farewell, sweet beard! ‘Til we meet again!

Jaroslaw Rzeszutko – Ninja. What else can be said about this guy. Super-fast goal-machine. People couldn’t spell his name. I hope he didn’t mind too much.

Toms Hartmanis – incredible skater, great forward. Between him, Jaro and Prpich they almost single-handedly ensured we scored some goals. Thank goodness.

Dean Holland – the People’s Choice.

Paul Sample – Vipers Captain, a fairly quiet season but he steadied the ship and led from the front.

Jamie Tinsley – hard-working, dedicated, saw a lot of ice in the second half of the season and did very little wrong.

And the Whitley Warriors and Northern Stars who bolstered our numbers on occasion, notable mentions to Adam Reynolds and Dan Pye. Thank you!

The 2010/1 season: the vital statistics:

My Viper stats: 9 wins 15 defeats – No. of streaks – 0 (it was too cold for that business).
Number of teeth lost – 5 (that I noticed!)

Number of beards grown – 695 – averages approximately 49 beards per Viper. Sort of. That’s about 8 each a month. Sounds about right, doesn’t it?

Goals scored – some

Goals conceded – more

Penalties – loads

Fights – several

Going - got tough

Tough - got going

Ciders – 53 (at least)

Unrequited cuddles for injured players – 83

SexyNeilsonHockey – 200%

Dancing – poor

Cheering – loud

Spirit – fighting

Memories – a lifetime’s worth

Thanks again for reading, everybody. It's been a pleasure to share this journey with you. Here's hoping I'll be back next year with more juicy Vipers fruit for your delectation. I'll say no more on that matter for now! But please come back next week for my play-off review! Marvel as I attempt to remember four whole other sets of players and compare and contrast their beards! Gasp in wonder as I single-handedly dissect the weekend's hockey action despite excessive apple juice consumption! Shudder as I recount in vivid detail the pain and agony of my final hockey withdrawal symptoms! And other such jollities! See you then!

That’s All Folks

Perspective. There’s a rare and precious commodity I could use a little of right now. Writing this blog post in a month’s time I would probably be able to wax lyrical about the Vipers’ season, contrast the highs and lows, list the best bits, review the players, maybe even summarise my journey from hockey novice to regular hockey fan. And I could put it all into context and perhaps accept that my life isn’t actually over. But perspective is not a luxury I am lucky enough to be afforded right now, so as it is, this is probably going to be the toughest thing I have ever had to write in my erratic (and for the most part imagined) journalistic career. But I have loved writing about this hockey team all season long and there’s not a dog in a pond’s chance I’m going to let them go without a proper send-off, gut-wrenching as it’s going to be to put down onto paper (screen) the emotions that I am feeling right now.

So I’m going to review the final weekend in all its glory. I thought about breaking it up into parts but sod it, I’m going to do it justice in one long final hurrah. I’m even going to attempt to review the matches. Well, vaguely. But I’m not going to shy away from the reality of the situation, so you’d better prepare yourselves. There will be sad bits. There will be happy bits. There will be cuddly, fluffy and squishy bits. I will do my damnedest to ensure it makes sense and is as optimistic as I can manage because that’s the least this team deserve. Buckle up sports fans, as we take our final spin on the rollercoaster ride that has been Vipers Hockey. It’s going to be a long one.

Saturday 19th March 2011 – saying Goodbye to the Bay

I know a lot of people have had their problems with Whitley Bay and yes, having seen on the tele-box and even in person, now, the Utopian Ice Paradises of such places as the Odyssey Arena and the National Ice Centre, I can understand why. It’s small, dingy, old, uncomfortable, poorly lit, freezing cold and the lines beneath the ice have all but disappeared. Plus it doesn’t belong to us, is awkward for fans to get to and just generally causes a bit of a grump amongst the Vipers massive.

I’ll admit I’m hugely biased because it’s 5 minutes’ drive from my house; hell, I could even have walked there if I felt so inclined (I never did), but you know what, it’s not even the convenience factor that I’ll miss about Whitley Bay ice rink now the season has come to a close. It’s my first ice rink. The one where I fell in love with ice hockey. And until last weekend, the only ice hockey rink I’d been to. It’s the one where I lost my heart to the Vipers, made friends with like-minded people, drank cider and laughed and cheered and danced and learnt everything I know about this beautiful game. And you know the thing I will miss most? Aside from the strange, cold, yet sometimes vibrant atmosphere which prevails there, the impact of being so very close to the ice surface, wherever in the building you are, and the somewhat ominous ambience the place has due to the yellow-ish darkness which somehow lends itself so perfectly to this oftentimes dark and menacing sport.

It’s the smell. It gets me every time. On the approach you anticipate it, and there it is; your nostrils fill with the unique scent of fried cheese mixed with decomposing rubber. And then you get into the rink itself. The ice has a weird, wet smell that hangs on your hair and your clothes long after you leave the rink. That smell will stay with me for as long as that ice rink stays standing. I have no doubt I will go there during the summer and feel all wrong because it’s light outside and the sun is shining but there will be that smell: so familiar, so tangible I can almost grab it. It will all come rushing back to me. The sound of the cheers echoing in my ears, the crisp ‘swoosh’ of skaters stopping and swiftly changing direction, cutting into the ice with precision, the smack of the puck against a stick, or a goalpost, or some teeth.

The Bay. Perfect? Nope. My favourite place in the North-East? Even above the pub (all of them)? Yup.

It may not be perfect, but I’ll never forget that battered old building on Hillheads Road, and all the good times I’ve had there. So, unexpectedly, Saturday was a harder day for me than Sunday, and it caught me unawares. It was the last Vipers home game, and the first in a double-header against Dundee. It could have been all to play for, had various factors not taken the power out of our hands and left us with nothing to play for but pride. But as has been the case with this team time and time again over the course of the season, there’s no telling the Vipers players when to quit. Amid a throng of fans paying tribute to the heroes of the season through song, the team set about attacking the game with trademark tenacity. We went 1-0 down in the first but came back fighting, our three goals coming in quick succession, and all from the fearsome two-some of Hartmanis and Rzeszutko. They went as follows: first goal – amazing individual skill from Hartmanis; second goal – cheeky and lucky, (and some other lesser known dwarves), some nifty link-up play between the two around the back of the net; third goal – Jaro Ninja strikes and follows up with one of his awesome celebrations. Love that.

Towards the end of the first period there were some issues and controversy, as is usual in games between us and Dundee, and that combined with some technical issues with the scoreboard meant a lengthy delay in proceedings. We struggled again against some questionable refereeing, and in the second period it seemed to affect the team, and they lost their way and were made to pay by the Stars. Dundee did their best to help us out, taking penalty after penalty and rarely fielding a full set of five skaters, but we were plagued once again by an ineffective powerplay, and we failed to make the most of the opportunities. The lead slipped away, and we moved into the third period with a tied game. In the third period we clawed our way back into the game but were unable to make any impact on Kurdna’s net and Dundee struck the final blow. A devastating and undeserved loss for our final game, but a hard-fought one too, and nothing to be ashamed of. Following the game the players were introduced individually for the fans to show their appreciation, before Danny took to the mic to give a few heartfelt words of thanks to everyone involved with the club. There were tears and cheers all around the rink as the home crowd said goodbye to surely one of the gutsiest and most determined groups of individuals ever to grace the ice of Whitley Bay and maybe even British ice hockey in general.

Danny's Lionhearts. We love you guys, and we will never forget you! THANK YOU!

Sunday 20th March 2011 – Danny Stewart and the Last Crusade

By rights, the away trip to Dundee, what with being the team’s last ever game together, and probably our last ever game as a club, should have been even sadder than Saturday. But it wasn’t. As 49 Vipers fans boarded a stunningly shiny futuristic silver pod of a coach to make the long trip to the wilds of Scotland, there was a mood of defiant buoyancy. This trip WAS going to be fun, and no faffing about with your namby-pamby soppy tears or reminiscing. Are you northern or not? (Nope. Sshh, don’t tell anyone. I don’t think they’ve noticed, my Geordie accent has really come on lately!).

On arrival in Dundee I noticed a small number of important details. There was a KFC. This was good news, as I was hungry. The rink looked impressive from the outside. And Dundee smelt really rather bad. Following a fast food fix, we headed rink-wards where we enjoyed Dundee’s pleasant bar facilities whilst admiring their little gem of a rink. Honestly, if it’s possible to marry an ice rink, then someone hand me a ring because I am in LOVE. What a diamond little place. I was over-awed by the Odyssey Arena, to the point of detachment, but Dundee is a cracker. It combines all the best features of a place like the Odyssey – bright lights, decent seating, good views and good facilities, with the proximity to the ice and the intimacy that is Whitley Bay’s strong suit. All in all it was the perfect ice experience and as one Vipers fan suggested, if we could have hooked the Dundee Ice Arena to the back of the bus and towed it home, I really think we would have.

Aah, look at the lovely rink! Look how shiny and bright! I can has?

And so down to business, for the last time this season. It was somehow fitting that as all the two-way players from Whitley Warriors and Northern Stars were unavailable, the team that took to the ice were the bare bones – but the heart and soul – of the Vipers team we have known and loved all season. Nine skaters and two netminders. Small but perfectly formed. Our little half-sized hockey unit with double the heart of a full strength squad. 50% off, but 110% extra free. I could continue in this vein. Shall I? Okay fine, I’ll get on with it. Around 100 Vipers turned out to see the lads off in style and boy did Dundee know about it. The singing was loud, proud and constant. Every Vipers fan, clad in at least one jersey, wore their hearts on their sleeves and clapped until their hands stung, and sang until they had no voices left.

The first period was as exciting a period of hockey as we’ve seen all season. Close-fought and hard battled, the effort from both teams was reflected the scoreline going into the period break, at 1-1. In the second period, back-up netminder Liam McAllister made a rare appearance. Sadly for the travelling fans, Dundee took advantage, pouncing early and scoring four goals in quick succession to effectively kill off the game. But the Vipers fans continued singing regardless, and I heard some great chants on the night, some of which I wouldn’t dare to repeat on here, some of which were quite moving, and one of which was a touching one-man tribute to Kyle Sibley, which I rather enjoyed given my affection for the aforementioned diminutive defenceman.

The Vipers Massive. They're MASSIVE! How's that for away support? Are you watching Elite League!

The rest of the game was academic really. There was surpisingly little in the way of conflict, and Dan Ceman's men asserted themselves and made the nine-odd man advantage tell. We did manage to get on the score-sheet again through that man Rzeszutko, to give us one last goal to go crazy for, and then we sadly lost Danny Stewart to injury in an unfortunate and violent meeting between puck and foot. The coach took man of the match, which seemed fitting.

And so that was that. Season over. We trooped back to the coach for a surprisingly upbeat journey home, and then went our separate ways, wistful in the memory of what had been, and what could have been. Or maybe that was just me. Something about a sub-standard cheese pizza from a late-night kebab shop really puts me in a thinking sort of a mood.

The end of this season is a double-edged sword, as we are losing two distinct entities, both of which mean so much to so many, but in quite different ways. Firstly and most importantly is the end of this ice hockey club – it’s not set in stone, and I for one will be keeping everything crossed as well as trying to win the lottery on a weekly basis – but it’s looking likely. It’s the end of an era for the devoted and loyal following that I have been proud to call myself a part of for just six short months, during which time I’ve seen a brief snapshot of a tight-knit community, passionate and dedicated to the very last. These fans are not just losing something to do on a Saturday night. They are losing something which has been a massive part of their lives for the last few years. I can’t compare my experience to that of the hardcore, the lifers; they have made countless fantastic memories with this organisation, and I can’t and won’t even pretend to understand how deeply this will affect them, as the reality is I’m a total newcomer and I have not been a part of this club’s history. They have. The hurt I am feeling must be a hundred times worse for them and I can only hope that something, anything, can be done to rescue the club in its time of need. These much-vaunted hockey gods I’ve heard so much about really need to get their holy fingers out, because it would be criminal for this to come to an end.

But the second thing we are losing is something that I would have shed tears over losing whether or not this club continued its tenuous existence, and that is the loss of a sporting team unlike any other I have ever seen. Danny Stewart and his players have given everything and more for the club and the fans this season and they will all go on to great things, of that I have no doubt. Each and every one of them deserves so much love and respect for the part they have played in this topsy-turvy few months, and they will live on forever in the memories of the fans who were lucky enough to share this crazy ride with them. They are testament to the fact that good friendships, heart and determination and a will to succeed can overcome almost anything.

I have long said that this experience reminds me of a movie, and that I would love to make a film about the amazing ups and downs of this season. A true underdog story. It’s not a story about miracles but instead a film about triumph over adversity, hopes and dreams, anticipation, ups and downs, sticking together, tenacity, guts and loyalty; the true underdog mentality. It’s not about the perfect outcome, but the spirit in which the almost achieving it was achieved. But every sports film needs a happy ending. And we don’t have one of those. Yet.

The End

(Oh and just in case you were wondering, I’m not going anywhere. The blog may take a slightly different format in the coming weeks and months but I will still be here in some way, shape or form. What the hell else am I going to do with myself if I can’t babble on about hockey. Later in the week I will, with added perspective and hopefully humour, sum up the season as I have seen it, and ponder the path our futures might take without hockey. There will also be extensive review of the play-off weekend, in early April, as I attempt to turn my journalistic tendencies to something more objective. Oh who am I kidding, I’ll be rating player beards and searching for Sexy Neilson Hockey and I’m not ashamed to say it. Until then folks, I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this blog as much as I have writing it. It’s been a pleasure in so many ways. And I’m gushing again, which is silly as I’ll be back in a few days. Ta ta for now).

My first, my last, my everything

I’m going to come clean, dearest readers. The nearer the end of the season gets, the harder it is for me to write coherent and upbeat blog posts. I have two whole matches from last weekend to review, and yet my drafts up to now have been all padding and no meat. And nobody wants that. Except possibly skinny vegetarians. I’ve concluded that I’m TOO involved. Before, I was happily standing at the prow of the good ship Vipers looking back at the action and off in to the future but now the ship’s hit the iceberg of reality and I’m officially drowning in a sea of too much ice hockey (if that’s even possible), and it’s about to all go black. Drama!

The weekend I’ve just had was so hockey-dominated it makes me wonder if I’ll remember how to function once it all comes to an end. It was a weekend of firsts, ironic given the fact that it was the penultimate weekend of the regular Elite League ice hockey season, and quite possibly the penultimate weekend of Vipers hockey for the foreseeable future. But I might as well make the most of it while it lasts, so here goes!

Saturday 12th

First up was my first ever away trip, and my first ever visit to another rink for an ice hockey match. And what better place to pop my away cherry than Belfast. The weekend started at an hour I’d heard tell of in myth and legend but never actually believed really existed. Disappointingly, it does. I rose zombie-like from my bed at 4:50am on Saturday morning, and joined the merry band of 21 Vipers fans on a flight to the Northern Irish capital for a day of hockey and plenty of craic along the way. I felt a bit guilty that the team were travelling the painfully slow way, via coach to Stranraer and then the ferry across the Irish Sea, whilst we were swanning about the fine drinking establishments of Belfast, but I decided we’d earned the right to a few drinks after the time the alarm went off that morning.

Speaking of drinking establishments, I made my highly anticipated first (ooh, another first!) visit to the much-lauded Rockies Bar – and what a bar! It’s an ice hockey fan’s paradise. Hockey utopia, if you will. Hockey and beer and sport on the TV and other hockey fans. Bliss. What I wouldn’t give to have such a place in the local area. I would literally live there. As for the Odyssey Arena itself, well, it was something else. I felt very disconnected from it all at first, as though perhaps I was there to watch somebody else’s teams play. So stunned was I by the bright lights, padded seats and dramatic intro video montage it came as quite a shock to me when the Vipers team took to the ice and reminded me that I was there for a reason.

They looked so teeny on that massive rink; although I would mention they weren’t quite so outsized as they had been at Whitley Bay when the Giants visited a few weeks ago, mainly due to the fact that the enormous Mike Hoffman was being rested. I was reliably informed that Hoffman was in fact engaged in a competitive pizza-eating contest against Giants fans that evening – I kid you not. Oh, and they had cheerleaders!! And a giant sandwich for a mascot! It was all extremely surreal and for a few moments I was able to re-capture those feelings of blissful ignorance that I experienced back in the beginning of my ice hockey adventure, although now it was probably more to do with the numerous beverages in my belly and the dazzling effect of the lights gleaming off of the perfectly smooth ice surface. (The lights! I can’t get over them. They were so BRIGHT! I am so taking sunglasses to play-offs).

Even my camera struggled to make sense of the sheer amount of light in the Odyssey Arena. Note however, Mike Prpich's beard, clearly visible. I am almost certain this beard will be visible from Space. Confirmation from NASA expected imminently.

We were all having a perfectly jolly time in Belfast until the minor inconvenience of an ice hockey match interrupted our beer-drinking. How rude. I don’t plan to dwell on the hockey itself for more than a sentence or two. The Vipers just weren’t at the races. We did our best but it fell way short of the mark. We held on in the first period mainly due to some outstanding saves from Charlie Effinger but collapsed in the second and third, barely registering any convincing shots on goal and doing well to limit the Giants to single figures. There was a moment of hope in the first period break as there were fears of the game being called off after the zamboni leaked gas onto the ice, burning a hole in it and forcing Giants staff to relay a patch of ice and hope that it held. Sadly it did, and the Vipers were forced to endure the beating. We sang as loudly as we could but 21 versus over 4,000 is a bit of a mismatch, so I’ve no idea if our attempts reached the ears of our lads, although we did attract some quizzical looks from some of the Belfast fans in the next block along from us, presumably as they tried to figure out what the slight buzzing noise coming from their left was.

The evening that followed was as memorable as the hockey was forgettable, with highlights too many to mention, although I would like to note for the record that one of them involved a certain elite league hockey coach gleefully accepting a mask of a certain other elite league hockey coach to take home with him. Made my night, that did.

Sunday 13th

After another bright and early start, a short plane trip, a quick kip on the sofa and a cheese toastie the weekend’s hockey action continued in earnest on Sunday. Playing the league leaders and the title chasers in two consecutive days? No bother. Whitley Bay was packed to the rafters (well, compared to normal!), many Steelers fans having made the short trip north, and tensions were running high. The atmosphere was excellent and the game couldn’t have been more different from yesterday’s flat-as-a-proverbial-pancake effort in Belfast. Bright and sparkly as the Odyssey Arena may be, it really can’t compete in terms of feeling connected to the action; I sincerely doubt anywhere could have quite the impact Whitley Bay has in terms of feeling a part of it all. Plus my eyes felt much more comfortable, accustomed as they are to the dimly lit surroundings of the Bay. I think I must be devolving into some kind of prehistoric creature because of that place; part human, part freezer-dwelling mole.

And so to another first – my first time seeing the Steelers live this season. First impressions? They were quick and efficient, but within recent weeks I’ve seen more attacking prowess from Belfast, more power from Cardiff and more flair from Nottingham (yes, really). Yes they were well-drilled, but they were the least impressive of the title contenders in my humble opinion. Of course it could have just been an off day for them, but I feel it may have had more to do with the intensity of the Vipers, who were switched on straight away, and only conceded their first two goals through really unlucky bounces. We really did seem to have run out of luck on Sunday; sometimes things just don’t go your way, however hard you battle. The Vipers weren’t intimidated by the Steelers but failed to capitalise on their powerplay opportunities once again – they did however manage a penalty kill or two which was just lovely. (Get me! I'll be talking about tactics next!! No, I really won't).

We went 3-0 down early in the second but nothing could deter the Vipers from giving their home crowd something to shout about and Danny Stewart scored another one of his trademark slapshot goals mid-way through the second and sent the fans into paroxysms of joy. I have come to the conclusion that Danny is a complete and utter legend. He is our Coach Bombay, only mouthier. And balder. I fully intend to squeeze the life out of him at the end of the season (if I’m drunk enough) for all of the amazing work he has done with the team despite all the problems, but quite aside from his coaching prowess he’s pretty amazing on the ice too; fast, feisty and fearless. Exactly what you want in a coach and a hockey player. Am I gushing much? I’ll move on.

Spot the Puck. Charlie is seconds away from executing the trademark Effinger pounce. The Steelers might as well give up. He moves faster than a cheetah on Red Bull.

The whole team were BACK against Sheffield, it has to be said. My most recent favourite Viper, Kyle Sibley, had another strange game, making up for a number of errors with twice as many moments of genius – he is a bit of an enigma it has to be said and his performances, solid for the most part of the season, have really come into their own over the last few weeks. I would go as far as to call him ‘quirky’. Mike Prpich’s beard was also out in force (I know it seems improbable but really, it was). I have noticed that Mike Prpich’s hair is now trying to compete with Mike Prpich’s beard for attention which intrigues me. It’s previously been an innocent bystander whilst the beard has gone about terrorising the nation but now it’s come into its own, and on Sunday it leapt out from beneath Pirps’ helmet and waged war against the Steelers. I would go so far as to say that Mike Prpich’s combined hairyness was our 13th man.

What else from the game? Derek Campbell seemed keen to get up close and personal with our lads, but the Vipers were resistant to his rather persistent charms, and the Coach gave him a good ear-bashing when both were holed up in the penalty box. Good! We continued be extremely unlucky, having some great chances but not putting them away, although I would venture to suggest that much of our bad luck was actually Steelers' netminder Ervins Mustukovs just being a bit good. Player in the Elite League you LEAST want to face in net? Yup, pretty much. Despite this we fought tooth and nail to pull the scoreline back to 4-3 right at the end of the third period, and proceeded to pull Charlie and play 6 on 5, but there just wasn’t enough time and despite an absolutely amazing effort, the game was lost. Valiant to the death, the Vipers just keep on proving that they will not be beaten. The game was fast, exciting and well-played by all involved – a fantastic spectacle for those attending Whitley Bay for potentially the last time for the foreseeable future.

And so we move into the final weekend of the season for the Vipers, and a double-header against Dundee. There’s a strong contingent of Vipers fans attending both the home and away games and despite them being about nothing more than pride, we are duty-bound to send our boys off in style, and that we shall do. Next week’s post will be momentous. I warn you, I don’t do goodbyes well. Please come prepared. I won’t be held responsible for any spontaneous outbursts of emotion that cause mess on anyone’s desks/screens/clothing.