KT-Dude and the Hockey Team of Doom

Once upon a time, there was a girl called KT. She lived a happy life and would happily go about her daily business like all the other good and simple folk of the land. But, like many of these good and simple folk who had gone before her, KT was blissfully unaware that a mysterious and exciting and magical world existed right under her very nose. That world was the sport of ice hockey. It was a world that was known only to the few, but those few were lucky, for it was a world that was thrilling and intense and tumultuous. This world was inhabited by a team called the Newcastle Vipers and one day, quite by chance, KT stumbled upon the Newcastle Vipers at their home in Whitley Bay.

The first time KT ever laid eyes on this team she knew she was destined to belong to them, as even though they were poor and lived in a place that was small and cold and dark, they were young and fast and strong and valiant, and worked hard every day. There were lots of other teams to choose from in the magical world of ice hockey, and they were all bigger and better and shinier and richer, but KT didn’t care about those things, for the Vipers had already won her heart.

Now all she needed was to see them succeed in their endeavours, just once, to know that she had made the right decision, so she left behind her daily business and spent every weekend in the mysterious and exciting and magical world of ice hockey, hoping and praying and cheering and supporting her beloved team, but to no avail. Week after week, the bigger and better and shinier and richer teams came and sieged the home of the Vipers and laid them to waste, and when the Vipers went to their fortresses to try to retaliate, they were beaten down again and again.

Until one day, after many weeks of pain and frustration and heartbreak and despair, the Vipers faced the team from Edinburgh. The team from Edinburgh weren’t quite as big and shiny and rich as some of the other teams, so the Vipers knew it was their chance to strike. So they battled and fought and scored and saved relentlessly for 60 minutes, and nothing the team from Edinburgh could do could break them down. They won the battle, and KT and all the other Vipers fans were so happy, they vowed never to doubt their beloved team again and to support them through the good and the bad and even the ugly. Of which KT was quite sure there wouldn’t be any ever again. They would always be strong and triumphant and fearsome and victorious. It would begin with the chance to vanquish two foes on their very own patch in one weekend. They called it ‘the Drive for Five’, and the good and simple folk of the land would come from far and wide to join forces in supporting the Newcastle Vipers to further glory. And they would all live happily ever after (after a few stiff drinks, that is).

The End.