A Very Vipers Christmas

Forgive me Vipers, for I have sinned. It’s been 15 days since my last attendance and I have been unfaithful. I watched some football on the TV and cheered on my ‘other’ team (we won!). I went to another city to see some live music instead of going to Whitley Bay. I remembered why watching prog rock bands live is so much fun. And that gigs are warmer than ice hockey matches. I did my Christmas shopping. I spent time with my family and had in-depth discussions about decorating, and winter recipes. I basically came to remember what life was like before I met you. But don’t worry, I have more than made up for my indiscretions with the amount of time I have spent thinking about you, missing you and worrying for you. I watched the film ‘Slapshot’ in order to keep up my Iearning and actually picked up some pointers. And I am counting down the days until I see you again in true Advent style (except that on Christmas Eve there will still be 3 days to go. And there’s been no chocolate involved. Sadly. I would have enjoyed nibbling the legs off a chocolate John Schwarz. Maybe next year).

Mike Prpich Beard Watch: I have heard on the grapevine that it has secured its own visa and is now staying in an apartment over-looking the Tyne. I’m disappointed as I was hoping to sit on Mike’s knee and tell him what I wanted for Christmas but without that key ingredient, it just wouldn’t be the same.

In terms of what the Vipers want for Christmas, it’s very simple. And inspired by commentator and hockey enthusiast David Simms, the hockey community came out in force to give them lots of little Christmas presents, stocking-fillers if you will, in the form of tickets for last Saturday’s match against the Sheffield Steelers. Tickets for the game were bought from all over the country, by people with no intention of going to the game, but just doing their bit to support a club in its time of need. It was touching and hugely appreciated by everyone associated with the club, and meant that we could live to fight another day. Now we need the big one… the present under the tree that means we will be able to live to fight into 2011 and beyond. We’re still suspended in ‘watch this space’ mode at the moment, and I know I’m not alone in clicking on the Vipers website every morning hoping for some Christmas cheer. I have everything crossed. Everything, I tell you!

Impractical as his outfit may be for hockey refereeing, Santa loves a bit of it once his Christmas Day duties are complete.

I feel the need to share with you the slightly alarming realisation I came to the other day: I have recently surpassed the word count of my undergraduate dissertation – previously the longest thing I have ever written – writing about hockey. By about 4,000 words now, actually. Why wasn’t writing about Spanish Civil War poetry this easy? Is there some kind of qualification I can have please? To be honest I’m not sure if I should be rewarded or sectioned, having just spent the last twenty minutes trying to write a Vipers version of the Twelve Days of Christmas song summing up my highlights of the season so far, and coming up with the following. I’m not writing out the whole thing, so this will have to do you. Sing along now, my pretties:

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Vipers gave to me:
One game-worn jersey,
A Danny Stewart slapshot
Ninja Rzeszutko
Sammy Zajac scrapping
Dale Mahovsky’s front teeth
Chewey Forsbacka
A Hartmanis hat-trick
PRPICH’S BEARD!
Great saves from Charlie
That Blaze win
Super Danny’s Dozen and…
11 goals against Dundee

Right, I’m keeping this short. As predicted, my hockey-related drivel has basically descended into foaming at the mouth, such are my withdrawal symptoms and the subsequent mental trauma. All will be remedied on Monday. That’s just 5 days away. There’s just the small matter of Christmas standing between me and a reunion with my Vipers. It’s but a mere trifle. (And roast potatoes, and Christmas pudding, and cheese and crackers…). A very Vipers Christmas to you all, and I look forward to seeing each and every one of you, all a little plumper I imagine, for our match against Hull Stingrays next week. Bring it on!