Even the Bad Times are Good

As I’ve maintained since the beginning of my hockey journey, and indeed through all my sports-supporting endeavours, too much happiness is bad for you. It raises expectations, brings about a false sense of security and makes you a smug, complacent git. But there’s absolutely no chance of that with the Newcastle Vipers, so fear not. Whenever the stork of good luck flies overhead and drops a little bundle of happiness for this team, like the win over Nottingham for example, hot on its tail is a swiftly applied kick in the unmentionable parts by the stork’s lesser known but truly dastardly compatriot, the mallard of misery. But it’s for the best, trust me. Success is SO over-rated. Plus we’re British, and no-one likes a good moan more than us. What do Man United fans have to moan about for example? That their prawn sandwich didn't house the required level of marie rose sauce this week? No-one wants to be a Man United fan now, do they.

But just what is about this Vipers team, and bad luck? When I started writing this blog if someone had told me about the endless list of setbacks that my newly-discovered team were to face, and the crazy successes they would achieve despite them, I would have laughed in their ridiculous prophetic face. Just days after the glory of the amazing win over the Panthers, and his first goal of the season, and me finally taking the plunge buying a shirt with his name on the back, John Schwarz goes and gets himself injured. And puts the kybosh on our chances of reaching the play-offs. Or so you might think. Of all the players for the team to lose, Schwarz is arguably the most key. If I get my hands on whoever caused his injury I’ll… I’ll… probably call them sir and shake their hand. But I’ll be really rude about them behind their backs. Quietly.

So we took to the ice a depleted side on Saturday, down to just 9 skaters; portents of doom hung in the air as we faced an Edinburgh Capitals side desperate for a win. An element of bitterness has crept into the race for the last play-off spot and the three teams battling in the basement of the league have no love lost between them, the Capitals as much a part of ‘import-gate’ as Dundee Stars. I had a bad feeling.

But thankfully it quickly dissipated as it became clear that sadly (for them), the Capitals are quite a poor side. There was no time to waste feeling sorry for them this time, and we skated rings around them, literally, in the first period, piling the pressure on in a series of what appeared to be beautifully executed training exercises, although sadly not racking up the scoreline quite as much as Vipers fans would have hoped; it seemed as though we should have doubled our two goal lead at least by the first period break. Who said offence was the best defence? Some sort of American, presumably, but despite this regrettable handicap whoever the person was had it spot on, on this occasion. We pounded the Capitals’ goal and didn’t give them much of a chance to reply, and even when they did it was to little effect.

Despite this, the slender two goal lead began to feel precarious in the second period, the Capitals tightening up and responding with two goals of their own, and our weakened defence starting to tire, but thankfully by the end of the second period we were 5-2 up. Thanks to, er, some goals, and Vipers fans were able to breathe freely once again.

Films like Avatar and Toy Story seem intent on telling everyone that 3D is a good thing these days. But in hockey terms, it’s quite clear that it’s really not and Hollywood needs to stop talking out of its rear end. However, our ‘3D’ gave their all tonight, and my ode from last week’s blog post still stands. Bearing in mind they’re all under 5’7” and one of them isn’t even a defenceman by trade, they work damn hard, and in the case of Sammy Zajac even have time to settle a score with an adversary, throwing down the gloves as he did against Edinburgh’s Iain Bowie for some reason or other. Great fun. Poor Kyle Sibley must have wondered what crimes he’d committed in a previous life, being the only real defencemen left on the ice as Zajac sat out his five minute major, and looking pretty weary when his shift finally came to an end. The Vipers fans collectively sighed with relief that he actually made it through the game at all without injury.

Don't mess with Sammy Zajac. He will fold you in half and use your head as percussion.

We scored two more goals in the third to put the game to bed and make it safely through our first Schwarz-less game unscathed. Methinks it may not be quite as easy in games to come…

Just to check, to any readers of mine who aren’t already hockey fans, are you STILL not going to see hockey yet? And if not, why the hell not? Scared you might like it? It’s dangerously addictive, I grant you that. But don't be afraid little ones. Resistance is futile! Come! Be hockey’ed! Directly in your FACE! If you’re in the Newcastle area, why not start this weekend? We’re playing Belfast Giants at Whitley Bay ice rink this Saturday (19th February), face-off is at 7:00 and it should be a great night’s entertainment! Our opponents are actual GIANTS!* And as we speed inexorably towards the end of the season, it’s one of your last chances to see pro ice hockey in the north-east for some time to come – don’t find yourself wishing you could have seen a game when it’s too late – just do it! DO IT NOW! Tickets available here: http://bit.ly/hLzxmn

*They’re not. Although they may appear to be, when standing next to our players!