Sat on by Giants... but still in the hunt

The end of the ice hockey season is looming all too large. It was tangible at Whitley Bay on Saturday night, as Viper fan discussion turned to the end of season awards, and the play-off weekend, but strangely enough, nothing beyond that. Approaching the end of the season is sort of like approaching a blind precipice. You know there has to be something beyond the edge, you just can’t figure out what it is. And you know that finding out is going to be more than a bit scary. And possibly quite painful.

It’s a wonder I’ve still got a job, or a social life outside of hockey at all, as I have been lovingly enveloped into hockey’s warm and inviting bosom over the last few months to the point where I literally can’t remember exactly what life was like without it. I have vague images in the murk of my distant memory of a time when I didn’t even know Newcastle HAD an ice hockey team – what on earth did I do then? It feels like so long ago. I can't even conceive a life without it now. Like an abnormal growth in your groin, it gets in the way a bit, and occupies your mind a lot of the time, but you're sort of used to it now and you wouldn't feel quite whole without it.

With that slightly bizarre reflection in mind I’m relishing every single game, in full-on ‘enjoy it while it lasts mode’. It feels as though I have seen a lot more of some teams than I have of others this season; Nottingham, Coventry and Edinburgh topping the list right down to Sheffield who I haven’t seen at all (thankfully as they’re like, really good and junk), and Belfast were a team who I enjoyed watching last time I saw them back in October despite the fact they beat us, so I was anticipating an enjoyable encounter on Saturday last. And it got off to a fantastic start as the Vipers took an unexpected early lead through Jaro Rzeszutko.

The first period was scrappy which suited us down to the ground. We were dogged and persistent, interrupting the Giants’ flow, and a hefty dose of gritty defending combined with a string of unbelievable, Herculean saves from Charlie Effinger – seriously, the dude has mad skills – meant that we went in at the period break with the score tied at 1-1. We couldn’t sustain the level of exertion however, despite having three Whitley Warriors players on the bench to bolster our dwindling numbers, and the Giants punished us early in the second period, dominating possession for over ten minutes and scoring three times in the period, twice from the powerplay. They probably would have scored even more had some of their number not taken it upon themselves to make some seriously ham-fisted attempts at shooting, presumably inspired by the spectacular penalty miss by Ashley Cole in the Chelsea v Everton FA Cup shoot-out earlier in the afternoon. Quite a few pucks were fired into the netting or out of the rink, and one even bounced back off of the rink ceiling – quite a feat.

There's a Yiddish proverb (no really, there is, I'm not making this up) that goes something like 'surrounding yourselves with dwarves does not make you a giant'. Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to argue on that point. It really kind of does. Our youngsters pulled their weight and the whole team gave it everything as always, but overall the lack of size and strength seemed to play a part, and the Giants really did look larger than life in comparison to our relatively slight team, particularly huge defenceman Mike Hoffman whose presence was imposing as he became the second person this season - after Brad Voth - to make Whitley Bay ice rink look like no more than a frozen puddle.

In place of photographic evidence this week, please see below an (highly respected) artist's impression of the key problem:

Giants player (left) has been scaled down. Vipers player (right); actual size. This doesn’t count as high-sticking, by the way, seeing as how it only reaches his waist.

There would have still been hope in the third period had the Vipers not been dog-tired and had Corey Neilson been the opposing coach (I jest! Or do I...), but sadly this wasn’t the case and the Giants added another three goals to their tally and made the trip back across the Irish sea happy with a clean, clinical and accomplished win. You can’t fail to have a soft spot for the Northern Irish side following their hilarious and endearing Christmas promotional video, but in addition to their extraordinary ability to perform an impressive coordinated dance routine, I have also to compliment the Giants on being the only team I’ve seen at Whitley Bay who have never shown a sniff of foul play, been overly belligerent, or tried to use our lack of numbers against us. Not that they needed to – they came, they played their game, and we could only trouble them for one period – it was a definitive win, but a deserved one, and executed with class. It’s refreshing in some ways to get through an entire hockey game without seeing a raised fist or feeling the need to hurl abuse at someone. It felt quite alien actually so I spent a portion of the following day hollering insults through the window at passers-by on my street instead, just to release some pent-up aggression.

Sunday was a different story as the Vipers chalked up a comprehensive road win over hapless Edinburgh, an assured display featuring hat-tricks from Mike Prpich and Jaro Rzeszutko which will surely boost confidence and more importantly brings us to within sniffing distance of the final play-off spot and well and truly puts the onus on the remaining fixtures, particularly those against our rivals for the spot, Dundee Stars. Will our poor exhausted players make it to the end of the season without keeling over? Will their tired, battered bodies last long enough for us to actually ice enough men to start a game by mid-March? Will I become known as ‘that mad wench at number 14’ by the other inhabitants of my street and be reported to the police? The answers to these, and other questions, in blogs to come!