My first, my last, my everything

I’m going to come clean, dearest readers. The nearer the end of the season gets, the harder it is for me to write coherent and upbeat blog posts. I have two whole matches from last weekend to review, and yet my drafts up to now have been all padding and no meat. And nobody wants that. Except possibly skinny vegetarians. I’ve concluded that I’m TOO involved. Before, I was happily standing at the prow of the good ship Vipers looking back at the action and off in to the future but now the ship’s hit the iceberg of reality and I’m officially drowning in a sea of too much ice hockey (if that’s even possible), and it’s about to all go black. Drama!

The weekend I’ve just had was so hockey-dominated it makes me wonder if I’ll remember how to function once it all comes to an end. It was a weekend of firsts, ironic given the fact that it was the penultimate weekend of the regular Elite League ice hockey season, and quite possibly the penultimate weekend of Vipers hockey for the foreseeable future. But I might as well make the most of it while it lasts, so here goes!

Saturday 12th

First up was my first ever away trip, and my first ever visit to another rink for an ice hockey match. And what better place to pop my away cherry than Belfast. The weekend started at an hour I’d heard tell of in myth and legend but never actually believed really existed. Disappointingly, it does. I rose zombie-like from my bed at 4:50am on Saturday morning, and joined the merry band of 21 Vipers fans on a flight to the Northern Irish capital for a day of hockey and plenty of craic along the way. I felt a bit guilty that the team were travelling the painfully slow way, via coach to Stranraer and then the ferry across the Irish Sea, whilst we were swanning about the fine drinking establishments of Belfast, but I decided we’d earned the right to a few drinks after the time the alarm went off that morning.

Speaking of drinking establishments, I made my highly anticipated first (ooh, another first!) visit to the much-lauded Rockies Bar – and what a bar! It’s an ice hockey fan’s paradise. Hockey utopia, if you will. Hockey and beer and sport on the TV and other hockey fans. Bliss. What I wouldn’t give to have such a place in the local area. I would literally live there. As for the Odyssey Arena itself, well, it was something else. I felt very disconnected from it all at first, as though perhaps I was there to watch somebody else’s teams play. So stunned was I by the bright lights, padded seats and dramatic intro video montage it came as quite a shock to me when the Vipers team took to the ice and reminded me that I was there for a reason.

They looked so teeny on that massive rink; although I would mention they weren’t quite so outsized as they had been at Whitley Bay when the Giants visited a few weeks ago, mainly due to the fact that the enormous Mike Hoffman was being rested. I was reliably informed that Hoffman was in fact engaged in a competitive pizza-eating contest against Giants fans that evening – I kid you not. Oh, and they had cheerleaders!! And a giant sandwich for a mascot! It was all extremely surreal and for a few moments I was able to re-capture those feelings of blissful ignorance that I experienced back in the beginning of my ice hockey adventure, although now it was probably more to do with the numerous beverages in my belly and the dazzling effect of the lights gleaming off of the perfectly smooth ice surface. (The lights! I can’t get over them. They were so BRIGHT! I am so taking sunglasses to play-offs).

Even my camera struggled to make sense of the sheer amount of light in the Odyssey Arena. Note however, Mike Prpich's beard, clearly visible. I am almost certain this beard will be visible from Space. Confirmation from NASA expected imminently.

We were all having a perfectly jolly time in Belfast until the minor inconvenience of an ice hockey match interrupted our beer-drinking. How rude. I don’t plan to dwell on the hockey itself for more than a sentence or two. The Vipers just weren’t at the races. We did our best but it fell way short of the mark. We held on in the first period mainly due to some outstanding saves from Charlie Effinger but collapsed in the second and third, barely registering any convincing shots on goal and doing well to limit the Giants to single figures. There was a moment of hope in the first period break as there were fears of the game being called off after the zamboni leaked gas onto the ice, burning a hole in it and forcing Giants staff to relay a patch of ice and hope that it held. Sadly it did, and the Vipers were forced to endure the beating. We sang as loudly as we could but 21 versus over 4,000 is a bit of a mismatch, so I’ve no idea if our attempts reached the ears of our lads, although we did attract some quizzical looks from some of the Belfast fans in the next block along from us, presumably as they tried to figure out what the slight buzzing noise coming from their left was.

The evening that followed was as memorable as the hockey was forgettable, with highlights too many to mention, although I would like to note for the record that one of them involved a certain elite league hockey coach gleefully accepting a mask of a certain other elite league hockey coach to take home with him. Made my night, that did.

Sunday 13th

After another bright and early start, a short plane trip, a quick kip on the sofa and a cheese toastie the weekend’s hockey action continued in earnest on Sunday. Playing the league leaders and the title chasers in two consecutive days? No bother. Whitley Bay was packed to the rafters (well, compared to normal!), many Steelers fans having made the short trip north, and tensions were running high. The atmosphere was excellent and the game couldn’t have been more different from yesterday’s flat-as-a-proverbial-pancake effort in Belfast. Bright and sparkly as the Odyssey Arena may be, it really can’t compete in terms of feeling connected to the action; I sincerely doubt anywhere could have quite the impact Whitley Bay has in terms of feeling a part of it all. Plus my eyes felt much more comfortable, accustomed as they are to the dimly lit surroundings of the Bay. I think I must be devolving into some kind of prehistoric creature because of that place; part human, part freezer-dwelling mole.

And so to another first – my first time seeing the Steelers live this season. First impressions? They were quick and efficient, but within recent weeks I’ve seen more attacking prowess from Belfast, more power from Cardiff and more flair from Nottingham (yes, really). Yes they were well-drilled, but they were the least impressive of the title contenders in my humble opinion. Of course it could have just been an off day for them, but I feel it may have had more to do with the intensity of the Vipers, who were switched on straight away, and only conceded their first two goals through really unlucky bounces. We really did seem to have run out of luck on Sunday; sometimes things just don’t go your way, however hard you battle. The Vipers weren’t intimidated by the Steelers but failed to capitalise on their powerplay opportunities once again – they did however manage a penalty kill or two which was just lovely. (Get me! I'll be talking about tactics next!! No, I really won't).

We went 3-0 down early in the second but nothing could deter the Vipers from giving their home crowd something to shout about and Danny Stewart scored another one of his trademark slapshot goals mid-way through the second and sent the fans into paroxysms of joy. I have come to the conclusion that Danny is a complete and utter legend. He is our Coach Bombay, only mouthier. And balder. I fully intend to squeeze the life out of him at the end of the season (if I’m drunk enough) for all of the amazing work he has done with the team despite all the problems, but quite aside from his coaching prowess he’s pretty amazing on the ice too; fast, feisty and fearless. Exactly what you want in a coach and a hockey player. Am I gushing much? I’ll move on.

Spot the Puck. Charlie is seconds away from executing the trademark Effinger pounce. The Steelers might as well give up. He moves faster than a cheetah on Red Bull.

The whole team were BACK against Sheffield, it has to be said. My most recent favourite Viper, Kyle Sibley, had another strange game, making up for a number of errors with twice as many moments of genius – he is a bit of an enigma it has to be said and his performances, solid for the most part of the season, have really come into their own over the last few weeks. I would go as far as to call him ‘quirky’. Mike Prpich’s beard was also out in force (I know it seems improbable but really, it was). I have noticed that Mike Prpich’s hair is now trying to compete with Mike Prpich’s beard for attention which intrigues me. It’s previously been an innocent bystander whilst the beard has gone about terrorising the nation but now it’s come into its own, and on Sunday it leapt out from beneath Pirps’ helmet and waged war against the Steelers. I would go so far as to say that Mike Prpich’s combined hairyness was our 13th man.

What else from the game? Derek Campbell seemed keen to get up close and personal with our lads, but the Vipers were resistant to his rather persistent charms, and the Coach gave him a good ear-bashing when both were holed up in the penalty box. Good! We continued be extremely unlucky, having some great chances but not putting them away, although I would venture to suggest that much of our bad luck was actually Steelers' netminder Ervins Mustukovs just being a bit good. Player in the Elite League you LEAST want to face in net? Yup, pretty much. Despite this we fought tooth and nail to pull the scoreline back to 4-3 right at the end of the third period, and proceeded to pull Charlie and play 6 on 5, but there just wasn’t enough time and despite an absolutely amazing effort, the game was lost. Valiant to the death, the Vipers just keep on proving that they will not be beaten. The game was fast, exciting and well-played by all involved – a fantastic spectacle for those attending Whitley Bay for potentially the last time for the foreseeable future.

And so we move into the final weekend of the season for the Vipers, and a double-header against Dundee. There’s a strong contingent of Vipers fans attending both the home and away games and despite them being about nothing more than pride, we are duty-bound to send our boys off in style, and that we shall do. Next week’s post will be momentous. I warn you, I don’t do goodbyes well. Please come prepared. I won’t be held responsible for any spontaneous outbursts of emotion that cause mess on anyone’s desks/screens/clothing.